I'm at the airport right now. Lol.
The computer's like damn fast. Haha.

I'm feeling sad right now.

#1: I'm leaving Singapore.
#2: I'm reaching Indo SOON.
#3: I left my lollipop on the table just now
#4: I didn't bring Te-Chan back!! Sobs :'(

Itekimasu yo :D

&the pages keep turning.

BASICALLY. THIS IS A BORING POST

Wednesday:
There was Choir. It was Okay. Lol. Usual stuff. Silver Swan and Vacuum song. After Choir, went Jorene's house to 'do project'. Yea right. Haha. We just talked all the way. But fun talking luh. When I reached home. Got dinner! My dad cooked for meeeee :D He so nice. Lol. Quite seldom that he cooks. But the food was nice ^.^

Yesterday:
There was workshop with Mr. Jonathan.. Ya luh. Sang Silver Swan and Vacuum song again. Lol. Silver Swan damn high. I'm bad with high notes so I didn't really sing ): Gomenasai. He's a very funny guy. And Ms Lim came :D So long never see her. After Choir, there was CCA Leadership Camp. The Captain's here game was FUN!! :D Love it

Just now:
It was Leadership camp again. Today was more of the theory part. But it was still quite fun :D We played a few games. We did profiling on Thursday. It was a survey. Then today, the results of the survey was out. I'm an Structural and Social Thinker! Concrete person. Overall I think this whole 'camp' was good. I like it. The facilitators were not boring when they talk. So the theory part wasn't too bad I guess. How nice there's another 'camp' like this ^.^ enjoyable

I'm going back tomorrow already. Super early flight. So this is the last post for the month. I'll probably blog only when I'm back about 2 weeks later. I just found out that I will be going back with my Dad tomorrow. So my mum or him can't come fetch me anymore ): It's alright. Another time bah :D

I wonder what life's gonna be like when I go back this time.
ITEKIMASU! ^.^ Ja na

of you..

&the pages keep turning.

Sunday:
Went Bugis with Hui Qi. She bought 2 mangas from Kino. And I bought 9 :D I'm crazy. I know. It's just that I've been eyeing those mangas for very long already but I didn't have the money to buy them. Anyways, I can bring these mangas back. I won't feel bored in Indo at least ^.^ I bought new moon too! -excited to read-

I bought: S.A 8&9, Yankee-kun and Megane-chan 5&6, Otomen 1&2, Vampire knight 5&6. And lastly! CHARMING JUNKIE! volume 12.

Yesterday:
Physics tuition early in the morning -.- *yawns* We did a lot of practice questions. Grr. Not fun cuz they were difficult. I suck at physics(tsk). We also learnt manometer. I don't like that either. After class, Hildy, Chongziyu, Zhi Kai and me, we went to eighteen chefs to eat lunch. Nice food they've got there :D Then I went over to Jo's house to do Pet Rocket. I did quite little jobs. Sorry guys ):

I slept at 1am yesterday, while listening to Hikari, till I fell asleep. But I woke up at 7.55 today! -.- Just can't make myself sleep any longer. I'm not sure if this is gonna be the last post, cuz I'll be busy next few days. Maybe tomorrow I can post another one. Or maybe on Saturday when I'm in the airport :D Lol

Charming Junkie's the only one which makes me kinda excited to read. S.A and the rest.. Don't really make me excited. Weird. S.A was supposed to be one of the nicest mangas around. But I think Charming Junkie's good too! ^.^ Oh. I finished reading that book yesterday. Couldn't resist it. Lol xD

Ja na. Needa go do Heymath stuff.

&the pages keep turning.

Yesterday was Hillsong Concert @ Expo. It was.. Okay :D to me. Everybody was jumping to the music. I just stood there and clapped enthusiastically. Lol. I'm so not into jumping. Not like I'm feeling high or anything. I met a lot of TKGians there. And Candice(she didn't see me though) too!

Some Hillsong Songs were REALLLLLLY NICEEEEEE.
They were good. Undeniable Fact. And in the middle of the concert, Hillsong members went back stage (to rest?) and New Creation's Youth Pastor came to talk to the crowd. He preached(of course) about Jesus and stuff. Towards the end of his preaching. He asked Youths to come up to the front if they want to receive Jesus. Lots of people went up to the front :D Then this lady standing in front of me was asking me to go to the front too. Since I'm not a Christian. I just kept shaking my head. And she asked me, "You're not ready is it?" And I just keep shaking my head and smiled.

When all the youths were at the front already, he then welcomed them all into the Christian world. Lol. And led the crowd to a prayer. The lady (in front of me), stood beside me, put her hand on my shoulders and said to me,"We'll say the prayers together. You say in your heart okay?" I just nodded my head.

As he said the prayers and everybody followed. Suddenly. I just cried. Lol. It's been quite some time I cried. Since April. I think it was too touching that lots and lots of tears just rolled down. Lol. After finishing the prayers, that lady gave me a hug.

And said,"JESUS LOVES YOU"

Lol. What to say eh? Not that I don't wanna go into Christianity luh. Hildy was asking me to become Christian -.- Although I go to church.. But I still don't feel like being a christian. Benjamin said that Christianity is NOT a religion. It's a RELATIONSHIP.

After that part that I cried, I sort of lost the enthusiasism to sing anymore. So I just stood there and clapped and occasionally then I sing a bit. The whole concert was interesting. I won't say it's fun. It was my first time being in this kind of concert. That's all about yesterday :D

&the pages keep turning.

YATA! Holidays starts. But there's Choir workshop and practices this holiday ): I'm looking forward to the leadership camp! It's gonna be from 9am to 5pm on 29th and 30th May. Hope it'll be fun :D

Ohya! I forgot something. When my dad saw my results slip on Thursday right. He said to me, "If your study ability is like that, then it's like that luh. If you try too hard to climb up higher, you'll just fall back down again." Lol. He's like so unmotivated. Like father like daughter. I'm unmotivated too when it comes to studies. Inherited from his genes :x

I'll be going back this coming Satuday. Quite fast eh ): I wonder what I'll say to my mum. We're just drifting further apart as time goes by. Maybe she'll scold me for everything that I've done. She'll start saying things like.. "I work so hard for you, let you study in Singapore, but you don't know how to think, you don't know how to think for your mum!!" Ah.. that kind of thing. Sigh.. My father said to me.. That I don't understand the feelings of being a parent or feelings of my mum and dad. It's kinda sad. Somehow.

Argh. Have to go continue with Physics homework.
Tuition later. Ja na

do they ever think about me?

&the pages keep turning.

Just now afternoon. 3e9 had a meet-the-parents session. So my Dad came to school. And as Mrs Thong was talking to both of us, she told me some value stuff. Kinda wow. Cuz my dad sort of pointed out that "I may be doing well in school, but at home is different" Lol. Mrs Thong was really nice anyway :D She didn't say any negative points about me. I'm GUAI *grins* (yea right) But I love talking to teachers ^.^ Friendly orh. My results.. were okay I guess. Lol. EXCEPT FOR CHINESE. lol. My L1R5 went up 2 points ): SAD. Room for improvement. Sigh that's what I always say. But do I do anything about it? I wonder..

Lessons were kinda boring. Ohoh. AMaths was okay. And there isn't gonna be anymore chem lessons anymore ): last period tomorrow is for operation clean up. So will miss lesson ): I need more practice for Chem. I'm not really good with the mole concept thing.

Let's JIAYOU in the holidays :D

THANK YOU YUN SHAN FOR THE CHOCOLATE CAKEEE. or is it brownie? lol. THEY WERE OIISHI-LICIOUS ^.^

do you even understand me?

&the pages keep turning.

Why do I feel hurt so easily? I think I need to control my anger more. I need to say less of NOs. I need more training. Seriously MORE.

School was.. Okay. Somewhat boring. I wanted to die in AMaths lessons cuz it was pretty dry. And I was in quite a weird mood which I think it's incomprehensible. I couldn't concentrate really well. Oh! But P.E was something! At first people wanted to play Rugby. And after that changed to captain's ball (with a rugby ball), and as we played "captain's ball" longer, in the end, it became rugby. Lol. It was a very rough game. Lol. They were so enthusiastic about getting the ball that one person will drop to the floor and people will crowd around her to try to snatch the ball away. I was standing at one side. LAUGHING. Lol. I'm not motivated to snatch balls luh.

Ah that's all for today. Ja na

&the pages keep turning.

Yesterday I chiong-ed some anime. So that I won't be watching anything today. I'll be busy later. I have to do Library stuff. Chemistry homework. Filing. Chinese zuo wen. Luckily I finished EMaths homework yesterday :D

It was really quiet last night. When my dad's not at home. And I'm alonealonealone. Scary feeling. I kept imagining some ghostly stuff which made me kinda freaked out that I had to make sure that I stay in my room and listen to the radio so that I don't anyhow imagine things. It's been awhile since I stayed at home myself.

I need to try to overcome my phobia of fearing the dark.
Sighsigh. Gotta do my work. Ja na

♥ blue bird
♥ chu-bura
they are great openings :D

&the pages keep turning.

The house seems pretty quiet. Mei and Ahyi went back to Indo early this morning. They would have reached by now. My dad and me sent them off. It's gonna be my turn in few weeks time ): Anyway :D I'm feeling kinda happy. Having lots of freedom ^.^ Freedom of SPEECH and MOVEMENT at least.

I'm going Plaza Singapura later. Daiso Daiso Daiso! Here I come ^.^
I wanna buy Jap Food. Ahyi's gone. So I have to cook myself. I'm so excited somehow. Lololol.

My Dad's really nice okay. He was like..
"Don't go out so much kay, cuz you're sick"
He said it so nicely :D Usually he'll frown at me. But this time he didn't. Lol. And I am really sick. Sigh ):

&the pages keep turning.

Lessons resumed today.
Learnt Alpha Beta for AMaths. Not very easy but not too difficult so far. EMaths just went through bearings questions. No P.E cuz it was raining. After recess. Physics. Teacher's not here. Free period. Last. Checking of exam script for EMaths :D Last paper. And I'm quite happy with my results although there's room for improvement. It's an A1! ^.^ I made many stupid mistakes as usual. Lol. At 3.30pm was Choir. Today's practice was okay. I didn't dread it at least >.<

Ohoh. Before that, I was betting with Livia that she will get A1 for EMaths. We betted on Ferrero Rocher (how to spell?!) And so of course. I won luh :D She got highest in our class. She's a PRO. She top our class in AMaths. Geography. Chemistry and EMaths. Lol. She's good :D How nice I could be like her. Haha which seems kinda impossible.

I'll end off here. Ja na

&the pages keep turning.

Today's not exactly a good day. But not too bad either.

Got back Chemistry.Physics.Geography paper.

Hear the Good stuff first.
I got highest in my class. But you know what. I only got a B3. For my class, only about 5 people passed Physics. I expected myself to fail Physics. Get F9. REALLY. 90% of the Section B and C I didn't know how to do. But it turned out that I got quite many corrects. I anyhow do some working then teacher give marks for concept. Mr Seah was quite lenient in this time's marking. Even if you don't get the answer right, but you know the concept and you wrote some working, he may just award you with the marks.

Anyway. For other 3 classes. Highest was A1. But for 3e9, it's B3. Our class really didn't do very well this time. Thanks to our dear physics teacher -.-

Bad Stuff:
I was quite disappointed with myself over my Chem and Geog. A2 and B3. Grr. I wanted an A1. Too far from it. I'll have to try harder next time. That's what I always say. But do I try harder? I wonder..

Tomorrow's checking of EMaths paper. B can liao luh -.-
I don't wanna put too much hope on anything. I'd end up getting sad cuz I didn't meet my expectations. So I should just curse myself that I'd fail. Shush.

Anyway. After school. History extra lesson. It ended at about 2.45pm and I went to do Choir notice board with Sheryl. Oh Jo, Bev and Livia ended up helping us :D THANK YOU SO MUCH ^.^ Great help! Bev and Sheryl went home after we're done with the notice board. Jo, Livia, HuiQi, Teshura and Me went to PP. We went to Pastamania for lunch (?! it was about 4 when we reached there) After eating, we walked around a bit and go home :D

&the pages keep turning.

I was supposed to be doing Library and Choir stuff now. But I'm feeling lazy right now. Gomenasai de ): Today. I got back Social Studies.History.AMaths Paper.

History was a screwed up. I barely passed.
SS was alright. But dropped quite a lot. Over 20marks. But still A! :D I know I can do better than this. But I worked hard for SS already. So I'll try harder again next time ^.^
AMaths I had expected myself to fail. But I passed this time. Somehow.. Quite happy. Lol. I have low expectations. I shan't be greedy. haha. As Livia says. Lol.

Livia and Me have the same kind of.. "problem"
When we say that we want to get an A, we'd end up getting a B or others but not A. So must always hope for the worst. Then can do better :D Lol. Doesn't make sense to me. But somehow things are like that.

I feel that.. I'm so irresponsible. I can't stand myself.
Cuz I'm lazy and I don't wanna do anything.

why did you go away

&the pages keep turning.

Friday
Got back English and HCL Paper. Improved quite a bit.
After school was Choir. I didn't really go for Choir practice. Cuz the whole time I had to be away for Library Meeting. I'm dead meat. I'm a trainee on probation for the Head. Gosh. I have lots of work to do. Anyways after choir, we went for hwachong concert. OhmyGod. They were fantastic. Expecially the Acapella part. 6guys were on stage. They sang.. Stand by me. Eh.. Beautiful something. Can't remember the name. And the last song I don't know. Lol. But really nice. The alumni people were also really good ^.^

yesterday
Morning. Breakfast at Macs. Reached home. Watched It started with a Kiss. THANK YOU XIN FANG. It's really a nice drama series :D Watched vcd the whole day ^.^

just now
Morning. Watched It started with a Kiss again. Till 1plus. Had to leave the house for Church. Church was quite.. uninteresting. Cuz I just waited outside the room for my sister. Cuz she had sekolah minggu. I just sat down outside and breathed -.- I couldn't join sekolah minggu cuz it's for little kids under the age of 12. Lolololololol. On the way home. I saw this dress. It was really nice and sweet :D I wannnnnna buy!! But no money. Too bad. Haha

After I reached home, once again.. I watched vcd. YAY! I finished the whole series already. Ending was digusting. Lol. Cuz the groom wore bride's gown. Guys have broad shoulders. It was really gross. Doesn't fit at all. Lol. Anyway. I checked up at youtube about They Kiss Again. And I found out something. The 2nd is like.. So kissable -.- So many kissing scenes!! Okay maybe that's why it's called 'they kiss again'. I was watching some previews and NGs. I was so diao-ed by it somehow. Kiss and Kiss and Kiss. Lol. But Xiang Qin and Zhi Shu kiss very well orh -.- They look kawaii. Really like them to be together ^.^ Zhi Shu's smile is sweeeeet :D Got some sort of cheeky smile. Lol.

But all these are like.. Dramas?

Sometimes I watch dramas and animes. I will think.. Real life got such thing uh? So lovey dovey. It's like a FairyTale. Unbelievable. How nice there could be such thing. It's somehow nice to be loved. And nice to be in love. But I've lost the feeling. I wonder when it'll come back to me. Maybe never bah.

Today's Mothers' Day. I didn't even wish my mum. What kind of daughter am I? ): As I think about my mum. Tears keep flowing. How I wished that somebody could be there. To just sit beside me. And keep quiet. I don't need any consolation. I just need an existance.

I'm going to sleep. Ja na

sitting on the shore, hearing the waves clash
hoping that you could keep quiet. that's all i wanted

&the pages keep turning.

it's somewhat an uninteresting day.
I'm gonna make the card soon.
I'm so sorry congziyu
But still.. tanjobi omedeto :D You're 15! ^.^

I went home with Jelene today. We went to Bedok Library to borrow books. And I went to return my overdue-d book. I only read a chapter of that book and I returned it -.-

Oh. I'm failing AMaths. -Demoralised-
I'm feeling weird today. right now.
Something's REALLY wrong with me. I reached home just now. Switched on my lappie and clicked on some music so that they could accompany me to do my homework. I did EMaths homework and there was a little here and there which I couldn't do. I can't think. It's after exams now and I've stopped thinking. Bad. I feel so frustrated over nothing. Just so down. so down. so down. very down. I wanted to watch anime. But somehow.. Not in the mood to.

There's something about school that makes me feel weird and sad. But I have yet to find that out. There's something about my no-life life that makes me feel weird and sad. But I have yet to find that out either.

I'M WEAK

we're growing further apart by the day

&the pages keep turning.

185 words

Speed test

Rank: 586th of 377138 people
988 characters per minute
Typed 2 wrong words
don't know how the hell I typed so many words. probably it's the timer got some problems. lol. cuz most of the time I can only type 70+ words per minute. Ah whatever. Addictive game. I shouldn't play it too often. Haha :D

Today. Lessons were somewhat slacky. Changed sitting arrangement. I sat with people whom I have never ever sat before. I think I'll enjoy sitting with them ^.^ Jocelyn shall help me with Maths! Lol. Since hers is good. Smart girl. lol. Nothing much to write luh. Ja na

i wanna shut up

&the pages keep turning.

94 words

Speed test

Xin Fang introduced me this test :D haha FUN ^.^
I typed 94 words but my ranking is 6912th out of 363929 people. lol
Ohoh. I typed 511 characters per minute :D
Ohoh. I type one word wrongly ):
I'LL TRY HARDER NEXT TIME!! ^.^
I'm aiming for 100words per minute. Lololololol.

Yesterday.
went Bugis. Was supposed to do Legacy song. But in the end, YunShan, Jo and me watched the dance performance outside national library. It was International Dance Day yesterday so many dance groups came to perform. The HipHop dancers were cool :D I Love HipHop. Bev should have come and watch it. Lol

Today.
went to Jo's house do Chinese project.
After that I played PSP!! I first time play. lol. Jazreel's PSP had Audition Portal. FunFunFun :D But I always lose luh. No surprise -.-
I reached home at 1.20pm and then I'm out again at 1.23pm. Church. Sigh. I can't understand a thing luh. The Pastor(did i spell it correctly?) was speaking in Malay. And my malay is BAD. It was chim malay. lol. But some parts, those which I could understand, was really funny. Oh. And the Church Choir sang. Quite nice. Last week, I went to Church and I heard the Youth Choir sang. Wow. Beautiful. I felt quite touched when I hear those voices :D I wanna listen to them again ^.^

I wanna watch IT STARTED WITH A KISS :DDDDDDDDDDD
Xin Fang's gonna lend me the VCD!! YAYAAAA
I watched the anime. It's still ongoing. Just came out recently. It's good.
But now, I'm gonna watch the taiwan drammaaaaa ^.^

SO EXCITEDDDD :D

although your hands are small
they were still nice to hold :D

&the pages keep turning.

yesterday was an okay day.
For Legacy, we were separated into 2 groups. One with Mrs Thong and the other with Mrs Hoy. I was in the group with Mrs Thong.

Mrs Thong: I can see that you all worked very hard.
Joyce: But our results doesn't show.
Mrs Thong: You all worked hard but it may be the wrong technique

Blahblahblahblahblahblah.
I get worried everyday over results. Cuz teachers do scare us. 50% of the class fail this, more than 50% fail that. Sigh. For Geog, Mrs Thong said there's 4. Sigh. I'm worried for Chem. Geog. EMath. SS. The rest.. I lost hope in them.

Yesterday, my money was drained off.
I had to pay for O Level Chinese papers. It was supposed to be paid by GIRO but they said that the money can't be deducted from the account. I was only told yesterday. Lucky I got bring money. IT WAS 58bucks!!!!!!!!! My father is not gonna be in Singapore. I can't get money from him. I'm broke. I can't pay for anything. This sucks.

After school was Choir. Sucks more.
I couldn't sing cuz it was VERY high. The highest note in the song was G -.- Might as well just ask me to scream my lungs off. I'm bad with high notes. I don't gettit why I'm in SOP1. I can't even sing well -.- And they put me in SOP1 to lower the standard of the super duper good SOPOners. Is it like that? I don't get it at all.

There's no Physics class today :D
Cancelled last minute cuz Mrs Chan's son is sickkk ):

June Holidays are nearing. And I don't know what to do. I feel scared )':

nobody is comforting

&the pages keep turning.

It's Labour Day. Holiday :D
I'm bored right now.
So Quotes! ^.^

"On the day we left, we burned down the family home and all the familiar things inside. Because some memories... aren't meant to leave traces." - Alphonse Elric (Full-Metal Alchemist)

"You know why big brothers are born first? To protect the little ones that come after them." - Ichigo (Bleach)

"If you want to know the truth, you must have the courage to accept it." - Bear (.hack//sign)

you know what. .hack//sign is not bad. butbutbut. kinda. weird storyline which i don't quite get it somehow.

Argh. I'm so bored that I'm actually doing this. meaningless -.-

Later in the afternoon going out I think

how i wished that i didn't know you

&the pages keep turning.