Gonna go for our OCSP recce trip tonight! 

&the pages keep turning.

It's 1.58am, I'm shagged from Finals. But I really need to blog about this. I don't wanna lose this feeling that I'm having now, especially regarding pantry cleaning.

Before that, just wanna say...
Ahh finally Finals are finally over for me (I feel for those who still has exams tomorrow D:) But I can't feel that happy because I'm so tired that I'm not in the mood to celebrate. Finals this time has dragged on for a long period of time (at least longer as compared to the last 3 semesters) and I'm not the kind who self-motivates myself well. Since Monday, I start seeing people posting about going on holidays, going out with friends, enjoying themselves etc.. I start to lose steam when I see people having fun.

Yesterday (Wednesday night), I felt so so so horrible. Everyone around me was already enjoying themselves. So I decided to go to the Seminar Room to study, where all those who had exams on 8th May were studying too. That's where I found my place, the place where I really belonged. I felt so much calmer in that place with everyone who's going through the same thing as me. I have never gone to the Seminar Room to study, because I don't like places which are too quiet. I like to study in areas with natural noises. But yep, yesterday I decided to there. Glad that everyone managed to pull through this exam.

Yup, just glad that exams are over.

Hmm, just now I decided to help out with pantry cleaning, and shun bian remove my food items in the pantry as well. Oh my gosh. It was one of the most disgusting thing ever. And the house comm has to go through this almost every week. I can't even...

The stench from the fridge and the sight of all the rotten and wet food in the fridge... Enough to make anyone vomit. I'm serious. After joining the clean up with the house comm members, I really see them in a different light now. The effort that they put in for the neighbourhood is really commendable. I feel touched, really really really touched.

Every damn corner of the pantry was cleaned, all the pots/pans/cutleries/etc in the cupboards were removed and washed and wiped, cupboards were wiped, the fridge was cleaned so thoroughly and all the unlabelled, rotten and smelly food stuffs were removed. The stench was really so bad.

Sometimes I feel like a bimbz, being unable to stand the smell, I mostly helped out outside of the pantry, like washing the equipment, throwing stuffs, shifting stuffs, wiping stuffs etc while some of them braved the dirtiness without any complaints..

Yes without any complaints.

Especially so when everyone is tired from Finals, tired from their day's activities...

The house comm is really my hero. I can't imagine what they go through every week D:

I just hope that people will treat the pantry like it's their home. I think it's really sad when you see things lying around after being used, dishes not washed, used and dirty surfaces not cleaned, liquidy stuffs (I don't really wanna know what they are) at the bottom of the fridge etc. Where is everyone's sense of responsibility? Is it that difficult to do your part? Maybe it's not expected that we clean up people's mess, but can't we clean our own mess at the very least?

And we have to let the house comm clean up our mess... Don't people feel bad?

&the pages keep turning.

Lao tian ye don't seem to be helping me for this Semester's exams. Sigh!

For last week's first paper, I had very little sleep (because I took almost 4 hours to fall asleep properly). I'm not sure how much it affects my performance (cuz I don't know what's my final grade yet) but I did feel like I was brain dead the next morning.

Then yesterday night and today, I feel so unmotivated and sleepy. My brain feels overwhelmed with a lot of knowledge (or maybe none lol) and frieeeeeed. And now I have stomachache (blogging in the toilet now. Oops)

Maybe I shouldn't choose to have two exams in a day in the future. Unless one of them is an open book or slack module or something. Two psy modules in a day is no joke.

I need to keep my spirits high for later!! It's all in the mind it's all in the mind it's all in the mind!!!!!

&the pages keep turning.

Whoa.. Seeing how badly I did for my Mid Term, Presentation and Term Paper for Personality module, I feel a lot more motivated to do study for the upcoming Finals on Monday.

5pm.

I can conquer it.

Omg. I've been studying for this module for a long time. Like more than a week already because reading the textbook is pretty demoralising. Like you just keep reading and reading and it doesn't seem to ever end. And I have things that I get confused about as I read, so sometimes I have to re-read certain parts. And of course, I may not always be that focused, and hence the amount of time I need to spend on this module.

And there's this section about 'construals.' You choose to interpret your experiences in certain ways, do certain things and exhibit certain emotions based on the construal that you have. If you think you can achieve something, you will have a certain behaviour to achieve that goal. And of course, if you think you can't, then you won't do anything la.

In that sense, I can choose to think that I'm a failure and nothing will change and I can just rot and die (entity theorists) or try to improve myself after doing so badly for the other components in the module (incremental theorists).

Yup, and I guess, I should and I must be forward looking.

Quite an inspiring module I must say.
But I wish I could have done better. Haha.

&the pages keep turning.