I think I just got too stressed out.
And I started quarreling with Ahyi.

I kinda feel sian today. Even though I got my distinction etc, but I just wasn't in the mood to feel happy anymore. Then when I reach home, things happen. I seriously hate home. That's why I always wanted to go overseas for university studies etc. Cuz I hate home. That much. I miss staying at Dagu and Uncle John's house.

I feel like I'm not respected at home, where you can just anyhow find faults at me randomly. Got nothing also will become something. I try to be a good kid etc, but sometimes, things just have to happen. Why? Doesn't mean you're older, you don't have to respect me because I respect you or at least try to respect you. But I don't think I deserve your kind of treatment to me. It sucks to be in this home. Home? What home? I don't even want to call this my home.

I don't deserve all these.
Or maybe it's just the childish me ranting about all these stupid things.
Ya maybe I am that childish and doesn't think through before flaring up.
I must be crazy.

&the pages keep turning.

YAYYYYYY!
I'M REALLY OVER THE MOOOON!
I GOT DISTINCTION FOR VIOLIN EXAM!!

It was really unexpected for me this time because I thought I didn't perform well. But really happy that I made it. I just made it. With 132. Barely made it. LOL. BUT STILL, I MADE IT!! AHHHHH, I was smiling to myself like crazy in the bus just now on the way home from Ms Xiao's house. HAHAHAHA I was still emo-ing about my violin exam awhile ago, and now results are out, and I can't feel any happier than this :)

Ohh, MCT results are out also. Some improvements, BUT, Chem is still a disaster ): I HAVE TO WORK HARDER D: But anyways, who cares about that.

I shall feel happy for getting distinction now!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

&the pages keep turning.

MCT is over.

But.. I can't feel happy.

I am not happy at all ):

I think I got kinda stressed up thinking about Chamber. Practices are gonna get really intensive. I wish I was a pro player, then I wouldn't have to worry about not being able to play the syf pieces well ): Sometimes, I really do feel like giving up. Monday's auditions and I really don't have the confidence that I can pass it. I want to be in SYF, but I don't have the confidence to.. And being in SYF means I have to meet up to expectations (in terms of playing techniques etc.) which seems almost impossible right now. I wish I was a better player..

だうやって?

&the pages keep turning.

Tomorrow'll be the start of a new term.
And MCT is seriously a bad way to start this new term ):

I've got a couple of new term resolution!

#1 I'll eat healthily! No fried food except those from home and no bubble tea (Save money! ^^). And I wanna try becoming vegeterian in April for a month! (With exception of days IF I have some dinner with relatives etc.) HAHAHA I wonder how long I can sustain not eating fried stuff and a bit of meat and not drinking bbt. LOL.

I don't know why, but I kinda start to get a little health conscious recently :/ I don't want myself to grow too fat and unhealthy and grow tired easily all the time.

#2 I will practise violin on days when I don't have Chamber practices.

#3 I will prepare all tutorials before each tutorial lessons.

I think that's about it for this term. Just hope that I won't get too stressed out because of SYF and cause my results to deteriorate even further ):

It's a turning point.

Relearn, Revise, Relate and Realise

&the pages keep turning.

I had no tears to cry,
but the sadness overwhelmed me.

I NEED TO START STUDYING.

Anyways, Sunday's Youth was a pretty cool one. The preacher was really enthusiastic and going to church made me sort of feel much better! Then yesterday, we had Chamber from 12 to 6plus. Sian, this March holiday is kinda screwed up. MCT's coming up and I'm not ready for it at all. Not at all. Then, there was Chamber just now, and tomorrow. Sigh.

Ahh, I'm taking Grade 6 next year! Whoaaaaa, kinda cool :D
Hope I'll do well or at least fine! ^^

&the pages keep turning.

只要看到你的笑容，
心就开始软，好想原谅你。

&the pages keep turning.

I'm so sleepy.
I wanna play guitar ):
Today, lessons ended at 10 because of the outstanding A level results that our seniors achieved. Feel so happy for them! :D But there was Chamber practice after that. And then lunch-ed together. So it ended up like a normal day. Haha. I'm scared for auditions this Friday ): Either I'm gonna fail and get kicked out of SYF soon or I'll sit so far at the back at the end of the world. Wish me luck.

I was on the way to school this morning and I was looking through some random sms. And when I saw "love", it shocked me. Somehow.

何でだよ?

&the pages keep turning.

Work hard! Please work hard!

&the pages keep turning.

Ahh, violin exam is finally over.
I can relax a bit more now :/
But. It was really screwed up, unfortunately.
I had this image in my head previously that I will impress the examiner etc. But it turns out to be nothing but a dream. I'll probably emo over it for a couple of weeks maybe until results is out. But we'll see how this goes. Good luck to me. 3weeks - 1 month's time, I'll know.

Anyways, I was just at FB, and I saw this question being asked to a friend of mine.

When was the last time you gave flowers?

Hahah. Good question.
I remembered on 8th November, we went for Livia's band concert and yup, we all shared 5 stalks of daisies :) Ahh, daisies are nice. Mini and colourful version of sunflower! :D My love. HAHAHAHAHA.

Then, I remember, the last time I bought a flower for someone was on 1st June.

Okay, another random thing.

I was on Taylor Swift's website (What the heck am I doing not doing homework but surfing the net?) And she explained one of her songs (Picture to Burn), "Before I sing this song, I always try to tell the audience that I really do try to be a nice person… but if you break my heart, hurt my feelings, or are really mean to me, I'm going to write a song about you. Haha. This song is the perfect example." which I thought was really cool. Oh well, if I had such talents.

Annyeong~

&the pages keep turning.