I don't want to be part of this.

&the pages keep turning.

Hello! I feel like I haven't been home much lately..

&the pages keep turning.

Ahh, all the sneezing sure sucks.

&the pages keep turning.

Yay, finally no more lectures to attend. Holidays! :D (Or maybe not..)

Yesterday's was the last. But attendance for History lecture was quite bad. Lols. Between Math and History/Geography lecture was 3-4 hours wait. So we (Han Ren, Jaime, Jasper, Jia Hong, Joshua, Le Jing, Rachael, Shameer, Zuhair and me) went TM to have our lunchie. We ate at Swensens. Whoa, how many years has it been since I last ate at Swens :/ Then after that just walk walk at Toys 'R' Us while waiting for Cass and Jerrie to finish their lunch since they joined us later.

Anyways, History lecture ended pretty early :)

Today, I just wasted my whole time at home. Watching anime or at least TRYING to watch anime. Anime loaded really slow! D: So I re-watched Nana which was already in my lappie. Ahh, I love Nana. The storyline is not cliche at all and I love it. Really a good anime! Hard to come by :) It's about life and their love stories and their dreams. Sounds very common isn't it? But the plot that the author wrote is realistic. Very realistic. Ahh, love it to the max! :D But drawing not that fantastic luh. Lol ._.

I'm falling sick already. I sneezed quite a lot (Somebody must be cursing me a lot! Lols) in the past 2 days and I'm getting block nose. And growing ulcers in my mouth T.T

Recently, it's peace on the outside. But my mind is not in peace.
Yesterday night, I dreamt and it was a scenario which I dream of almost every fortnight. It's been "haunting" me D: In the dream, I see a friend of mine approaching me. Before I allowed her to ask me anything, I ran as fast as I could and I will be chased by her like I'm some criminal that a police is catching. Somehow I felt that I knew what that friend of mine was going to ask and that's why I keep running. I have been dreaming of the same scenario since August or September. Only the characters and venue change. For example, it'll be another friend and it might be in some high-rise building.
I remembered there was once I was running on top of some building and I was jumping between gaps of building and small alleys. It's quite crazy. Yesterday's dream's venue was at Tebing Tinggi. I ran so fast around the area and in the end I escaped to my mum's shop and had an ice-cream there. The ice-cream part was a bit random but at least my friend lost track of me. So it's all good.

It's weird.

Really weird.

Some rantings from here on. I don't want to make anyone sad. But I'm afraid of you and your words D: I wish that all these can stop. Don't wait for me. Don't go home with me. I'm scared D: Please let all these rubbish stop! D: D: D:

Escapades

&the pages keep turning.

Ahh, I just finished watching That Love Comes. 12 episodes, about 30minutes per episode, a pretty short drama. Oh my, they have one of the most cliches scenes in this drama. But somehow, I love the simplicity. And I wish love and dreams can be so simple.

I've been rather confused about certain things the past few days.
Hope I can climb out of this weird situation soon.

I wish I'm not that skeptical about things around me.
If I could think more simply.. Maybe things could have worked out better.

It's possible that all you wanted was simplicity, just like how 2 people can be together and yet amidst all the hardships, they end up happy again, but I ruined it all.

Anyway, in the show, the orginal couple went through all the hardships, but they did not end up together, because the female was more concerned about fame and money. However the male just wanted a simple relationship and that they can fulfil their dreams and stay happy together. But things didn't turn out that way. Simplicity huh..Hard to obtain.
But let's be hopeful.
Because there's nothing ever false about hope :)

&the pages keep turning.

Ahh, tired man.
Work and work and work. But luckily, the past 2 days weren't too bad. In fact, not really busy. And later, I'm working full shift again. Lol ._. Ahh, I hope they can up my pay D: I want more money! LOLOLS. But I think I deserve more..

Yesterday, I went Ajisen earlier to eat and I've got a new toy. LOL.

It's not this book shown above but same series luh. Same shade shade one.It's quite fun! At first I thought it was easy, then as I do more, 1x1... 5x5,6x6 and then 8x8 (I haven't do until 10x10 yet though), it starts to get more challenging! Woohoo! :D Who cares about Sudoku now. Haha!

&the pages keep turning.

I've finally changed blog skin! :)

&the pages keep turning.

I just took a quizzie from FB.
And I think it's.. quite true?
Unless I don't know who I really am?

It says:
Vivi got Unique.
You are special in every way. You are one of everything. You can be mean and bitchy(LOL) but be a kind person at the same time. You can be sad and crying, but push it aside for a friend. You are creative whether its artisticly, or mentally. You have a temper, but you only use it when neccesary. You are curious, and talented. You have many friends, know lots of people, but inside, you wonder about everything. You have been hurt in the past, but you stay calm and focused enough not to show your hurting inside.

&the pages keep turning.

Lessons were fine today.
I wasn't really sleepy but just felt kinda bored :/ Especially during Chemistry mass tutorial. But GP was interesting! :) Family is surely a sensitive issue. And I don't quite like talking about it. Reality can be quite harsh huh..

After school, we had Chamber practice. Mr Yang came, so we had our assessment. Heh. Did quite badly and he graded me C. He said my techniques are okay. But music, sound, intonation and many more can be improved. So basically, I just suck.

I'm quite sure I practised the songs more than the rest of my chamber mates. But oh well, since their grade is much higher than mine, they'll obviously play better than me even without much practice. I've always believed in hard work. And I'll continue to.

Yay, tomorrow no school :) But supposed to have Chamber sectionals.
But I'm gonna skip tomorrow's and go for Thursday's and Monday's.

Sometimes one doesn't need to have the best things to feel happy and contented.

&the pages keep turning.

Today.
Natalan di Gereja. Lol this year's stuff was less exciting compared to last year's. But overall still okay :) And I realised that kid's sermon is like only 10-15minutes, compared to Youth and adult's which can take about 30-45minutes. Lol.

Nothing much about today. I've got a boring life.

In the morning, I tried to watch We Got Married. Sigh, episodes are hard to find again. But whatever luh. Not meant to watch it maybe. Lol ._.

There's school again tomorrow. Plus Chamber after that. Argh, I can't play the songs that Mr Yang gave us! :x Crap, I have to get ready for scolding D: I tried to play the 2 songs yesterday and today. And my sight reading just suck and I don't know how to play 4th position onwards D: For the individual piece, I think I'm gonna play Allegro ma non troppo! It's a very nice song :D HAHA and I'm preparing it for exams man!

I have to agree that I love my exam pieces this time :)
I didn't like Moon River (The super popular song) for my Grade 2 piece. But you know what, I got full marks for the song I disliked the most. Nice. So maybe I should choose a song that I dislike for next year's exam. Maybe I'll do better? LOL!

I'm so not looking forward to school tomorrow :/

Moderato. Let's pace.

&the pages keep turning.

Hello hello. Yesterday's kinda a waste of time going to school. But still have to because we all had to collect our results slip. My results and comments were.. ._. I need to work hard. I really need to.

Before that, we had mini class breakfast at KFC. I love the porridge there! Tastes so good :) And that was at 9-10 plus. Then, we had lunch at about 1pm again. Omg. I wasn't reallly hungry because we sort of just ate breakfast, but I still had my lunchie! Lol. We went Yoshinoya to eat. My favourite. All-time.

After that, I went to meet Jing Yi, Livia and Xin Fang at Dhoby Ghaut to buy birthday present and then head over to Jing Yi's house. Livia done up a "card" and then we watched some vidoes on some occult thing :/ Kinda creepy. Jocelyn only joined us much later when we (excluding Livia who had to leave earlier) had dinner at Aston's. The food is really good. Price is okay also.

Then Xin Fang had to leave and so.. Left Jocelyn and me to stay over at Jing Yi's house. HAHAHA. We played pool from 7.30-9pm. Haha so fun. I think I improved! And there was this pro guy who joined us. Omg. And Jocelyn and me teamed while Jing Yi and the guy teamed. Obviously they win luh. Hahahaha.

After Pool-ing, we went back to Jing Yi's house and started watching Pretty Little Liars. Haha quite nice leh. Then we also watched Onion News (Super lame and sick luh, some of them. Hahahah), Scary Movie and I can't remember already. I fell asleep at about 4plus-5 when they started watching How I Met Your Mother. Lol so I totally missed that show cuz I was too tired already. But this morning, Jing Yi played one of the episode. Omg -.- It's really hilarious!
Before leaving Jing Yi's house this morning, we went to check out the Pool table. But it was already in use so we just sat by the pool side to chit-chat a bit before leaving.. And I was so touched when Jocelyn said this to me, "Why you didn't tell us earlier? You can have our shoulders to cry on!" Whoa, it felt really warm inside..

But yesterday till now, I'm feeling kinda depressed. My heart feels kinda heavy. I didn't have the mood to eat. Mm, I perfectly know the reason well this time D: But, hope this feeling goes away soon. I need to be more open-minded!

As the feelings for you grew stronger,
please don't go away.

&the pages keep turning.

I can't believe that PDub is finally over.
PI, GPP, WR, EoM, I&R, OP. It's been almost a year.

And there will not be TJ114 anymore.
Somehow, I kinda miss those times where we come together to have meetings and discuss about PDub, then suddenly we reached activated complex and digressed instead and etc. Quite sad eh.. Feels like a disbanded band. We've worked really well in the course of 8-9 months, doing GPP, WR and comment and edit slides together. But PDub sure sucks :/

Sigh, but today's our last component of PDub. OP.
I screwed my part up by stoning D: Fluency sure got pulled down.
I practised so hard the previous night, but I guess things just don't work out that well when there's last minute things that I added today since I didn't practice much on that new part. Anyways, since it's over, it's over.
After OP, our group and TJ115, excluding Wen Xiu and Jia Sheng, went to IKEA to have lunch. Haha nice food there. And then we walked around, look at the showroom and kept disturbing Martin. About Charmain and their child. LOL. Super fun! Hahahaha. Anyways, IKEA sure rocks :D It's fun looking at the many many things there! The designs were really pretty! :D

Then we came back to school for OGL interview. Ohman, I screwed up mine.
I think I'm not that good with answering questions and the dance that I "tried" to do was a total crap. LOL I don't think I can get in. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best lo!

Yesterday, we had combined group meeting with TJ115. Hahahaha Martini's house so nice and big, like Joshua's! Awwww. Then got pool table. I realised I quite taiko. Lol. Beginner's luck I guess? HAHAHAHA. Then we L4D2-ed a lot. Lol and Cass reaction was the most epic out of all. Lol but looking at the screen too much really can make people dizzy man :/ I finally managed to move the character on my own. LOL ._.

feelings. if you..

&the pages keep turning.

Sigh. That thing sure sucks.
Hope it goes away soon.

At work and after work, quite a lot of things happened.
Somehow, I start to fear that the same situation might occur again.
Pray hard pray hard.

Am I the one just waiting? Because I don't think it's gonna happen.
Or more like I'm quite sure it's not gonna happen. And I'm quite relieved.

I realise how love can be so blind. Lol.
You might not know the other party that well, but somehow, just looking at him/her, watching his/her every footsteps, talking to you, smiling at you, laughing at what you say, can capture one's heart? I wonder how is it possible? Is it even call love? LOL. Or merely affection? Or is affection = love? I doubt so.

Anyways, today, we had PDubby meeting. Lol sort of combined group meeting in school because we met Jerrie's, Han Ren's and Rachael's group at school. Lol got new word game to play. So fun. Hahaha. More or less pretty productive I guess?

I think only when I'm alone, I start to think of more things.
I guess with friends around, I can always laugh and smile and talk as if nothing has ever happened. Sometimes it makes me wonder which is my real self?

One who indulges in self pity, emo-ing at home and at school, putting on a facade?
Or am I really a happy person, just finding faults about myself to gain sympathy?

Who knows. It's kinda weird to think about such things. But I've yet to get a satisfactory answer about myself. Dig my soul.

It's gonna be a long day for me tomorrow again.
Good luck man. Ciaos

Just a little smile will do.

&the pages keep turning.

Hello. Sashiburi desu ne!

Let's start from Friday, 29 October.
After school, I met Jing Yi, Jocelyn, Joyce, Livia and Xin Fang at Cathay. We watched Paranomal Activity. Horror. My second time seriously watching horror outside -.- I don't like horror movies but they just had to watch it. LOL. Stupid show anyways. I mean the storyline. But it was enough to scare me. LOLOL ._. After that, we had dinner at Yoshinoya and the day ends :)

Saturday, 30 October.
I went to church early in the morning for rehearsal. I could only stay awhile so I only manage to practise the song with Michael for the a little while because I had violin lesson after that. Lesson was alright. We learnt a new piece A3: Allegro ma non troppo. Omg. Super hard for me.. But I might have to try playing that for exams because I don't like English Dance D:

In the afternoon, I went to Somerset with Jorene to walk walk at some Flea Market. Hahaha so many things and they were quite cheap! :D Aquarius is going to have a mini Flea Market on Aquarius Day soon! :D I was working at night so it was like two days (Friday and Saturday) without using lappie.

Sunday, 31 Ocotber.
Heh. Performance. Omg. I screwed it up D:
Anyways, lol, a lot of people know me after the 2 performances, but I actually don't know them ._. I feel a bit guilty. Lol. It's like at church, they'll call me "Vi" but I can only recognise their faces and I don't know their names at all. Anyways, very few people actually call me "Vi". Hahaha it's like only my very close friends like Jorene calls me that. HAHAHA.

Monday to Wednesday was just normal school I think.. Can't exactly remember them but since I don't remember, I guess there's nothing much.

Thursday night, I was working again. Friday night, I was also working. LOL DOUBLE PAY. Because it's Deepavali! :D HAHA. Double pay double pay double pay $_$ Hahaha. Then yesterday, I rushed down to Ajisen after violin lesson for work. I worked full shift. Argh, it's been a long long time since I last worked full shift. Tired. And we lack people last night D: Lol, my colleagues said we had 6.5 people working. 0.5 is for an auntie who wasn't that helpful I think. Lols. Totally killed us all anyways.

Today was just church! Last Korem.. And you know what? I understand 90+% of the sermon. LOL. One of the rare occasions that I actually understand this much. Hahahaha.
Recently, I've been just watching dramas and anime. For drama, I've been watching That Love Comes (TOTALLY RECOMMENDED!) and P.S Man (Not bad!) and for anime, I watched Hakuoki and Melody of Oblivion (Lost show). I said lost show because I don't think many people actually know this anime.. But the anime is okay.

I've been feeling quite down today.
But I feel it's just my selfishness that's causing me to feel this way. Somehow, I feel quite enlightened by the sermon today. I feel a bit better but I just hope I won't think of such stupid things again.

Anyways, I wish that next time I can go overseas to study. So that I can be away from this home and be left alone without having to help others or think for others. As I said, it's just be being selfish. I wish I was back staying at Uncle John and Dagu's house. I miss my home there. I miss them a lot.. I remembered that Uncle John said if I don't feel like staying here at Aquarius, I can go over to their house to "escape". Hahahaha. Of course I won't do that but the thoughts were nice :)

I continued with my comic reading. I'm reading the 8th book of Ojosama wa Oyomesama and I've learnt new things that I didn't know of. The thing about relationships are.. Wow. I was the one being selfish all these while.

don't ever let feelings from yesterday be brought into tomorrow

&the pages keep turning.