If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can't radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return - if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.

I must be PMS-ing recently or something. Might be my hormones. Sigh, girls.

Anyway, yesterday morning, I watched Beautiful Minds. Finally :) Really a good movie. I loved everything about it. It made me understand Schizophrenia a bit more, and how true love could be so beautiful.

Then Jorene came over to find me to have a chat with me. She seems really excited about school! ^^

Afterwards I headed for Indonesia Embassy for photoshoot with the IAF peeps. Ohmygooooooood, it was really hot, we had to wear blazer. Anyway, the walk from the bus stop to the embassy is a super long one. Lol, the embassy is located in such a secluded area. Argh, all the rich people living in that area.. They sure must have car(s).

The photoshoot dragged quite a bit. Below the blazer, we were wearing the IAF shirt. Hahaha omg, they are so cheapskate. They're not going to give the performers the shirt. We have to buy it ._. So since we're not buying the shirt soon, after the photoshoot, we had to return the shirts (lolol, the sweaty shirts ._.)

Headed for Jerrie's church soon after and I was almost late for her Easter concert :x But thankfully I didn't get lost, so I still manage to reach 2 minutes before the service started :) I loved the concert. They sang beautifully, and it was touching.

The pastor talked about how Jesus was perfect, because he was sent to Earth, have flesh and blood, he felt pain and hurt, so he could empathise perfectly. I wish all of us can empathise so perfectly. But it is such that we can't (be perfect in any way) and are sinners, so we must learn to forgive others for the Lord forgives you when you do (Matthew 6:14).

Perhaps I just need more time.

&the pages keep turning.

Happy Good Friday :)

&the pages keep turning.

Hello. It's Good Friday today! :)
What a great Friday. Haha. Watched Lincoln with some of our level peeps just now. I wanted to watch this show but I wasn't concentrating very well initially ._. Oops. Yesterday night, I wanted to sleep early because I was uber tired from post-formal dinner activity but I ended up watching No Strings Attached. Haha 2 movies in 1 day :)

Anyway, Gradutation Formal Dinner on Wednesday was quite a nice and simple one. It was quite an odd experience for me because after I dressed up, I went to the lounge where all of our level people gathered before going down together. As I opened the door, they started cheering and the guys said like "So hot here" *tries to take out their ties*, "Whoa Vivi, never knew you will dress up like that." Hahahha I felt like super paiseh @.@ I have never been confident with my looks and my body so I felt quite weird. Hahah. But thank you for all the praises :3 Well, although it's only for one night, but thankful regardless. Haha!

Then Joel was the first one who took photo with me and he held my waist there and then everyone started disturbing. So awkward!! Hahahahha. But anyway, on occasions like this, most guys/girls actually put their hands on the waist or shoulders. I used to feel super weird when it comes to "touch", but now not as bad as last time already.

&the pages keep turning.

Sometimes I wish I could have a tea party forever.
Every body comes in with a different tea, which never ever finishes and hence we could just chill out somewhere, and... drink tea. Haha I would totally love that. And then we could occasionally eat cakes and other sweets, and really, smell the roses in life. How lovely it would be.

Please say, IKR!!
Anyways, I was out with Joshua in the weekends for TWG, Canelé, Santouka and The Croods movie! TWG teas are awesome as always. We had Black Tea, Silver Moon and Timless Tea ^^ But oh no, spent a bomb over the weekends, even though I ended up having Joshua to treat me on the 2nd day *guilty max*. I shall go back to the yay-I-didn't-spend-a-single-cent-in-the-whole-week mode.

The Croods is a pretty good and hilarious movie. I love the moral of the story - or at least this is what I think the moral of the story is - Life begins at the end of a comfort zone. You can't be sheltered forever. #truestory

It has been rather tiring recently for me due to my lack of sleep. Like 3-4+ hours every night until I came back to campus on Sunday night when I finally manage to get a good sleep. I'm such a pig. I need many many hours of sleep if not I'll be almost dysfunctional. Maybe I shall go nap later. Haha.

&the pages keep turning.

It's always this look. This same look that I have. I don't know why, but I just like to look at your imperfections.

When will I stop?

Sometimes I feel like I've taken a step back and be nonchalant. But other times, those gushes of emotions come back to me and I give that same look.

I think if I'm the other party, I'll be freaked out.


Recent un-happenings/happenings are making me think that being over comfortable (I emphasise over here) with someone may not be the best thing. It just reminds me of one of the Wongfu productions - Strangers Again.

Stage 4 Comfortable, Stage 5 Tolerance, Stage 6 Downhill.

Even for friendships, these might just happen, since it's a type of relationship as well. Every one of us seems to have a tolerance level that could be break one day. I feel that my tolerance level will break some time too, if not, soon. I reckon that, maybe the other party might be thinking the same way as me.

Insults are okay in the initial comfortable stages. But when we stop being nice and continue to be negative, not in a joking manner anymore, but in an unpleasant way, this tolerance level breaks.

Why is it that we take advantage of this comfortability, unknowingly, when we take for granted of the knowledge that the relationship will not be affected regardless?

Unfortunately, it iust might..

Maybe that's why I'm pretty angsty these days.
It hasn't been surpassed, but what if it will, soon?
I'm afraid, to think of the consequences.

&the pages keep turning.

"Love isn’t about finding someone you can live with. Love is about finding someone you can’t live without."

Wow. Haven't been updating for a long long time. Have been really busy recently with assignments and mid terms. And yep, I'm glad they are over for now! Left 3 projects which is more.. OTOT unless we're gonna leave things to the last minute. Haha.

Lemme just briefly talk about some events that I wanna talk about in the past few weeks :)

1. Met up with my secondary school clique on 8 March. It was a really simple dinner. Hmm, prior to that, I was feeling guilty for being one of the people to be unable to make it on many days, causing a change in dates all the time. But still glad that in the end I had nothing on that night and hence could go out with them! We celebrated Jing Yi's birthday with a small piece of cheese cake from Starbucks and that's when I started having craving for cake and sweets :3

That afternoon, before Social Work lecture, I visited the UHC to get medicine for my fever and flu. I wanted to get well sooner because I had a mid-term test the following Monday. Anyway, somehow, when I meet this bunch of people, I usually fall sick :(

Oh yes. That reminds me, I have to eat my vitamins now (They gave me Vitamin C tablets too)
*long pause*

I just recovered from my flu about 2 days ago. Sigh, UHC medicine isn't very effective on me :( I took only 2 weeks to recover. Sometimes, the flu makes me quite miserable cuz I had to keep sniffing or blowing my nose. Anyway glad that I've recovered!

2. Throughout the week, I had a couple of music rehearsals, with both IAF and church. The IAF peeps are really talented musicians. They improvise on the keyboard well, play the violin well, I feel like a total noob there. I still wonder how they actually got my contact :/ But I'm still thankful for the opportunity to meet new bunch of people, enjoy music together and perform for the public at the Esplanade I think either on 15th or 16th June! :)

Church rehearsals could get a bit long too but the parts which I had to play were relatively easy. But lol, on the day of church service, I screwed up about twice :$ But at the end of it, they thanked me for playing well and asked me to join them next time when there's another chance for ensemble to play the hymns. That time, I was playing with the guitar "ensemble" - 4 guitarists - and plus me on the violin! I feel like the whole world is like better than me at playing music and I really really feel noob in every musical way. Sigh.

3. On 11 March, I had English mid terms. Haha Wen Yi said that it's the first time she ever saw me so passionate about studying. Yes, I love studying and learning about English :) It's my favourite module this sem! RECOMMEND EL1101E to peeps who are entering NUS or is in NUS but has yet to take this module :) It's uber interesting! ^^

Lol anyway, results came out a couple of days later.. I didn't do well though.. I guess I was just complacent about my knowledge and didn't do thorough checking. Serves me right. I must do better for finals man and not let my passion and interest down. I can do it!

4. Did a proper debate on 13 March for Hidden Comms. Whether we are proposition or opposition, it would only be known to us 15 minutes before our debate. Which means we had to prepare both sides.

The topic was "Respect the elderly - They should not be allowed to clean the public toilets."

Haha it was interesting how the speakers were chosen. In total, there would be 3 speakers. The first speaker can be a volunteer in the group or nominated by his/her peers. 2nd and 3rd speaker would be chosen through drawing lots. I was too afraid about drawing lots part because 2nd and 3rd speaker would mean that we have to do rebuttal which I'm really bad at so I decided to volunteer as the first speaker.

Omg. I was shaking like mad during my debate time and I was really nervous. But seriously a good experience. And yay! Glad that it's over and we won! :)

5. On 14 March, somebody bought me cheese cake for me to eat :3 Gan dong max. Wen Yi's friends also came over that night to celebrate her birthday for her belatedly. So I invited her to my room soon after her friends leave to eat cake together. Hahahha she was staring at me as I savoured the cake and said, "Walao, you eat until like so xin fu" or something along those lines, seeing how my eyes was lighted up while I was eating. LOL! But yep, super touched ^^



6. On 15 March, our level had BBQ which was organised by Royston! Haha quite nice to have another of our floor mate to initiate such stuff, instead of waiting for our beloved wing leaders - Chings and Wen Yi - to organised something for us. It started off with Royston's craving for atas BBQ food ._.

So glad that we have a BBQ pit in CAPT! Next time I hope to bake! Must find some time to bake and use the oven that we have!! :) Played a few charades-like game during the BBQ and it was fun! Food was good, company was good :)


By the way, German sausages are really ugly :/

7. OPEN DAY 2013 WAS A BLAST!! Hahahaha whoa super tiring that day cuz we all stood a lot, talked to many people, walked around, collect free ice creams and balloons etc. I really love our open house tee that one of our CAPTains designed! Very creative concept. It's like there's a line in the box to fill up what we're "Open To" and there were many wacky ideas from people and I decided to go with Reaching new Heights! Hahaha :D

Only Lim Pin came to visit CAPT though. Walked him through our whole college and hope he will consider coming here cuz it's such an awesome place! ^^

At the end of the Open House, we each receive a goodie bag too! Haha the bag is pretty! ^^ Then we took photos etc at the photo booth!


8. On 18 March, we had the migrant photog workshop briefing thingy. It's cool that the photos that the migrant workers take are gonna be put up for an exhibition soon! And some of the workers really take awesome pictures! So we were trying to write captions for them etc during the session :)

Then I got bored and doodled on the board.


Sometimes we face many difficulties but life is still such a beautiful thing :) Sometimes I find myself really ironinc, I always feel like dying, I don't want to live life anymore, I wouldn't mind dying now, say life sucks etc, but ultimately, I'll still go back to saying that I love this life of mine.

9. Lol SW2104 and PL3233 mid terms on 19 and 20 March respectively. These two mid terms drove me crazy a little because they were on consecutive days.. I'm really glad that they are over but I foresee not doing well (again) because my memory is not solid enough and I was a bit upset when I found out that I remembered some things wrongly. Because there are some things which I have so confident about, but after the exams, I realised that I have been remembering things wrongly all these while :(

Sigh, gonna fail man, especially for PL. How.

Okay, but for now, I just feel relieved that my tests are over, until the Finals :)
Time to work on projects!

10. Hidden Comms lesson on Wednesday was one of the most impactful and inspiring one. We had MSF's clinical psychologist to talk to us on child abuse and a victim of a sexual abuse was the special guest and she shared with us her story. I find her really brave, to be able to speak about the kind of abuse she had previously and I learnt so much from her story and I don't know how to say it out here. She was really an inspiration and I'm so glad she recovered from the trauma so much that she could now talk to us about it.

Hidden Comms lessons has always been an eye opener for me. Tonight we're gonna have a field trip to look at people doing jobs in the middle of the night. We're going to Bukit Brown Cemetery, Jurong Fish Port and I can't remember the last place. And we're gonna be back only at about 4am :) It's gonna be a cool night. But I'm really scared of the cemetery at night :/ Argh.

11. We had our Inaugural Open Mic yesterday night. I'm sorry to our Student Affairs Comm, but I think Open Mic is like the best lounge activity ever. Like ever. I stayed throughout the whole event, heard many talents singing, reciting poetry, reading stories etc. It was a WONDERFUL NIGHT.

One of them performed a Spanish song in acoustic with just the guitar and voice. Omg, really, my heart could melt. Hahahaha withdrawal symptoms from it.

And from our level, we had Ming Tjong, Charmaine and Marcus! Charmaine sings really well. Hahah her voice was so sexy and suitable for Stay by Rihanna :D And Ming Tjong did magic tricks. Haha he's good at it man! It was cool stuff.



(Apologies for quality of some photos. No flash used so I was trying really hard to save the photos)

I super enjoyed my night!

Then shortly after Open Mic, we had neighbourhood supper! ^^ Haha then we get to play Dance Central (SO AWESOME, WE HAVE KINECT~!) I'm super addicted to Dance Central. When many of them left, Melissa, Ming Tjong and I played till about late 2plus before we went back to bathe and sleep. Hahaha I can't dance for nuts but it just feels good to sweat it out after supper and after feeling unhealthy for a long time. I love Dance Central!! ^^ Hahahahah.

Cheers~!

&the pages keep turning.

Okay, I must seriously blog about this. Cuz it's disgusting but I had a good laugh.

&the pages keep turning.

Bahahha. I must blog about this.

Vivi 

A Vivi is very different from all the girls you'll meet. If you meet one always try to have her before someone steals her from you. She's usually very smart and will often try to help you with you homework. She'll hug you often and has a good sense of humor. She's cute and hangs out with friends that might like her. So you'll need to know how to get her heart before someone else does. If she's into you, you are the luckiest ass in the world. You can fall in love with her.

From Urbandictionary.com

&the pages keep turning.

I'm kinda satisfied with how my Recess Week was spent. Although I didn't do much studying, I think it was a fulfilling one. A very long post ahead!

Saturday
It's my first time watching Chingay Parade live! I was there with Cass, Chin Boon, Sylvester and Wen Yi :D Haha we had a very good front seat! 1.5hours seemed to pass so fast even though it seemed like it's just floats and dancers passing by. I enjoyed myself thoroughly :D

Sunday
We visited Teck Yan's house! Hehe. So nice of him to invite us over to his home. His mum cooks well and we had a great time playing werewolf! Hehe I hope more people will open up their house! Don't have to be only for CNY but I think it's always fun to go to people's house :D :D Then I had to leave much earlier to go for photog workshop!


So yep, it was the 2nd session for the migrant workers photog workshop that night. After sharing some of our photos etc, our buddy led us to see his dorm area. Hmm, it's already considered like a "5-star" dorm, but the rooms were small and accommodated many people, they had no mattresses to sleep in, no aircon, no fan.... During the day they work long hours, they have very few day offs, they are paid meager sums for their hard work each day.... Then the community worker who was with us that day, he was saying that he didn't get why Singaporeans think that they are stealing our jobs and are not receptive to foreigners in general when they themselves don't want to do their jobs like construction work etc

Hmm.

I just wondered, if standards of living were to lower one day, what will happen. Riots? lol.
Nothing seem to be able to turn back. Like I don't think there could ever be a day when we would want to take up construction work etc.

Monday
Volunteered for Carol's Heart of Gratitude project. I thought it was a very meaningful project. We went to Children's Cancer Foundation to do handicrafts with the kids there. It started out with an idea of thanking caregivers. A lot of times, the children don't know how to thank their caregivers or don't know how to show their appreciation, so we will help them with a card making and photoframe making so that these children can give it to their caregiver to show their appreciation towards their love, care and concern :)

I loved my time at CCF. I was put into the group with pre-schoolers. They're really an adorable bunch of kids! ^^ Hope that we can go back to play with them again! ^^ Can't post any photos of them cuz of confidentiality!

At night, it was SF's handover ceremony. The old committee stepped down and we elected the new committee. Lol the speech we had to make was quite funny ._. Like none of us prepared, so we went up there and crapped for about 30 seconds (it was supposed to be 3 minutes in the original plan hahah). But anyway, I was so shocked that I had to do speech because I didn't see my name in the nominated list. Lol but that's because I didn't open the whole email -_- And then Wei Jie was the one who told me and I was initially really shocked and nervous.

Anyway, the elections concluded and got the pubs and outreach director. I felt so under confident after the whole thing. I really don't know if I can do a good job because I just don't think I'm that great a person. But okay, shall be more encouraging towards myself and I know that through this, I'm sure I will learn to better manage my time :) I think I'm really bad at handling stress. This will be a good training.

I'm really thankful that Akshay is also the director for this post. Hmm, and SF is small so I guess everyone will support each other :)


Tuesday
Wen Yi and I went for a social work visit to The Society for the Physically Disabled. Oh my.. The area is so ulu.. It was difficult to find the place. As I walked, I wondered how people with disabilities can reach that place because there is no bus stop nearby.. Sigh. And Wen Yi got lost a bit and she reached only 30 minutes later. Hahahhaha.

It was an interesting place for me. There were day care services for children, adults and elderly. They had programmes to train people to do simple daily-life things like brushing teeth etc, rehab centre, a centre which specialises in assistive technology. There's also a an area where they allow those with physically disability to do simple jobs like packing of stationery, or book binding etc to earn a small amount. Hmm, but the social worker told us that they only earn $100 a month. It's really very little but I think it's a good way for these people to live with pride that they do earn a bit for themselves and allow them to feel useful.

The assistive technology available were really cool. There's this computer, where you can use your eye movement like a mouse. If let's say the client is unable to use his fingers. And there are other cool gagdets.

This place is definitely an eye opener for me.

After that we met Wei Min at Plaza Sing for lunch and went shopping a bit before we caught Ah Boys To Men II at the GV there. Haha I loved the movie! It's funny and touching :D

Hmm, but when I came back, suddenly felt like I could break down. I talked to Carol and Jonathan in the lounge for awhile and they just shared with me some of their experiences. I made bad decisions that day and I was feeling so crappy so crappy so crappy inside because of the bad decision and stress that I just teared alone. But well, at least after that I felt much better :)

Wednesday
The day started with a social work project meeting pretty early. Haha I think social work is really a nice module to take because we're always needing to talk about issues so relevant to us and our society. And our project meetings are always efficient ^^

Then I stayed at Arts to study with Kevin and Hakim. They're really quiet and focused! Unlike me. I felt I was quite unproductive, even though I was facing my books for about 5 long hours. Then I headed straight to Vivocity to meet Cass, Jaime and Joshua to watch Emm's performance at Hard Rock Hotel at RWS.

Omg, the singers were good!! Especially the RH vocalist. Arghhh, I have withdrawal symptoms when we left I am not kidding. Anyway, I love this kind of chillax sessions where we just sit down and watch bands play and sing :)

Yesterday
I had the whole of my morning-afternoon to myself. But sigh.. Unproductive. I wasn't focused with doing my notes. But I had fun during the time I did though! Haha. Studying phonetics then and I had to constantly look into the mirror to look at my mouth shape, where my tongue is touching when I say certain consonants. Hahah EL is really fun :D

At night, met Jerrie and Joshua for dinner at Chiso Zanmai at Central. The food okok la but I enjoyed the simple night out! Then as we were walking around by the "river bank", Jerrie's slippers broke ._. Whoa, suddenly we kanchiong about finding a shoe shop to get slippers at that hour. It was close to 10 already at that time and most shops were closed. Luckily, we found Cheers though! :)


Then we all parted ways soon after. I came back and played guitar and sing with Wen Yi and Joel. Haha. I really like nights like this when we could chill together!

Today
I had a long 6 hours meeting. Haha so that practically filled my whole day. Hmm. There were a lot of things in SF that we had to discuss about. So that explains the long hours. But I'm glad that I managed to squeeze in time to do my assignment before the meeting started and during the meeting itself, like during breaks I would type a couple of sentences and ended up finishing the assignment before the meeting ended :) So happy!

I will not be a procrastinator and I will be a prioritiser! :)

Feeling kinda stressed recently, with all the upcoming debates, presentations, projects, mid terms, assignments, music rehearsals, cca meetings, sac meetings etc etc >.< but I think I will manage somehow. I can do it!

&the pages keep turning.