My 3rd post for today. Hehe.
While waiting for Cass at Pasir Ris CC, I got my hands on "duet" magazine and guess what interesting thing I found?

Get high on love.
If you're holding out on taking your relationship to greater heights, here are more reasons to do so. Research shows that being in love benefits your well-being and appearance.

Improves your memory
Ever wonder why words spoken by your loved one are much easier to recall? Scientists at the University of Pavia in Italy found that falling in love raises levels of oxytocin, a hormone which triggers the growth of new brain cells, thereby boosting your memory. Helen Fisher, author of Why We Love: The Nature of Chemistry of Romantic Love explained, "The area of the mind that stores recall is activated (when you are in love). From an evolutionary perspective, we need to remember traits about this person to help stay in love".

Helps you look younger
It is often said that you can tell when someone is in love - they look happier, smile more and perhaps even look younger and more attractive. The reason? Endorphins that are produced by the body. These increase blood flow to the skin, keeping it soft and smooth. The hormone oxytocin also triggers the release of DHEA, an anti-aging hormone which generates cell restoration in the body and reduces the development of wrinkles. When a person is in love, the increased supple of food and oxygen to the skin cells give a person's face a healthier glow.

Makes you fitter
We've heard of working out to impress a date, but can being in love actually improve your fitness levels? A survey done on 400 competitive athletes, aged 16 to 38, suggests that loving relationships can enhance athletic performance. Michael L. Sachs, sports psychologist at Temple University in the United States, explained that while the research doesn't conclusively prove that love will help you perform better or win a competition, it makes intuitive sense. "If you're in love, life is generally better and you feel more energised," he reasoned.

Lowers your cholesterol
Being in love also comes with health advantages. According to a study published in the journal Human Communications Research, expressing your feelings for your other half is good for the heart. Participants in the study were tasked to spend three 20-minutes sessions writing about their loved ones over a five-week period. Those who did so and expressed their love in writing showed a significant decrease in low-density lipoproteins (bad) cholesterol levels. So being in love might actually benefit matters of the heart - literally.

Lengthens your life span
Wedding vows that promise "till death do us part" hint of life of growing old together. Now studies have indicated that being in a loving relationship can lengthen one's lifespan and thus prolong companionship.
Research conducted at Utah State University attributed a person's longer lifespan to high self-esteem established from his or her partner's positive feedback. This lowers the odds of depression. Dr Redford Williams, Director of Behavioral Medicine Research Centre at Duke University, also observed that people adopt safer behaviours when they have a partner.
"For example, you're less likely to rish your life with smoking, binge drinking, or dangerous eating habits if a loved one depends on you," he said.
Feeling connected is essential to good health too. A lack of love causing social isolation increases the risk of early death by up to five times. Perhaps you can take a step towards striking up new friendships with a new hobby.

You believe? If you do, how much?

Lol okay, that was really long. I wonder if anybody would be bothered to read.

Anyways, they say until like loving someone is so easy. Lol what if the relationship not going so smoothly eh? Won't you lose memory, age, be less fit, higher your cholesterol and shorten your lifespan? :x

&the pages keep turning.

幸せになる
I hope you are.

&the pages keep turning.

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just got to find the ones worth suffering for.

Just stumbled upon this picture on a friend's twitter.

I'm not sure how much I believe in horoscopes. Is it merely a coincidence?
But still, it's nice to read them up and sometimes they're sweet :)

Today's gonna be an uber boring day for me. Just like how work has been for the past week. Most of the time in the office, I'm gmarket-ing -_- Or writting uni app essay, looking around at the uni websites etc.

I wish someone would ask me out today la! Like some girlfriends shopping or we could visit some place we've never been to, get lost, find our way out, and let this simple day go by.

Oh yea, I'm supposed to go shopping alone later. But I'm still contemplating. Haha I might just spend more money :x I've been spending way too much.

I guess the only thing I'm looking forward to later is guitar lessons.

Kinda desperate to meet friends recently.
Like work has been taking my time away from meeting people. Also, I don't really have a friend whom I can talk to at work. So yep, kinda lonely and all. Plus it's not that convenient sometimes to eat lunch together with friends everyday since everyone works at different places or have other plans. It somehow makes me thankful to have school. I miss my friends.

Anyways, my thoughts have been quite messed up. I've been over-conscious about my own thoughts. I don't usually comment on people's outer appearance in my head. But a lot of thoughts about judging people have been running in my mind, so recently, I form comments in my head and I became over-conscious about how I think or view others. Don't know what's wrong with me. Just like how I wouldn't like people judging me based on my outer appearance, I don't want to do it on others also. But somehow, I sub-consciously do it. Screw me.

&the pages keep turning.

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means that you have decided to look beyond imperfections. 

The past 2 days have been great! But I encountered 2 awkward moments ._.

&the pages keep turning.

A class in music appreciation was asked the difference between listening and hearing. At first there was no response. Finally, a hand went up and youngster offered this sage solution: Listening is wanting to hear.

Changed blog songs! Oh Safe and Sound is still there. But I removed 2 and added 2 other. One is Jewel by Ayumi Hamasaki, the one I said I was obsessed with yesterday. And the other is Almost by Tamia. Both are 2006/2007 songs. Haha quite awhile ago already but I love them! :D

[Verse 1]
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words
I'm bout to say

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

[Verse 2]
I cannot believe I let you go
Or what I should say I should've grabbed you up and never let you go
I should've went out with you
I should've made you my boo boy
Yes that's one time I should've broke the rules
I should've went on a date
Should've found a way to escape
Should've turned a almost into
If it happened now its to late
How could I celebrate a love that wasn't real
And if it didn't happen why does my heart feel

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

[Verse 3]
(sometimes I wanna rub ya, some nights I wanna hug ya)
And you seem to be the perfect one for me
You (some nights I wanna touch ya but tonight I wanna love ya)
You're all that I ever wanted
And you're my everything yes its true
Boy its hard to be close to you
My love I know it may sound crazy
But I'm in love with you

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there (sometimes I wanna rub ya)
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce (but tonight I wanna love ya)
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said its impossible to miss when you never had
Never, never almost had you (but tonight I wanna love ya)

I was imagining a scenario that was "not there". Like some drama. It's like the lyrics "How can one miss what she's never had; How could I reminisce when there is no past "

Your gentle warmth on my body, as we hugged, I could hear your heartbeat and you heard mine.

Oh God, ewwww. I'm so shameless. And I just smiled creepily after that. Like wts?! This song made me mad. HAHAHAHA But I still love it, aww :)

Today my superior was on MC. So, I had a day of freedom after I finish up with whatever I had to do. I decided, I should apply for the residential college. So I spent the afternoon after lunch, checking out the residential college and writing the essay. I wrote it very personally, no profound words like some noob essay. HAHA. But well, just try la! Good luck to me. Then late afternoon, I received a call from SMU to ask me to go down for an interview. Omg, now I'm really scared :( Really really really scared.. :(

Anyways, as I said I was going to post about being a good listener, here it is.
As I read Everyday Greatness, I then understood the meaning of being a good listener and it answered my doubts. Hmm, to be a good listener, you need to be empathetic. If you aren't, then you're merely hearing.

"Listening is wanting to hear."

Plus, listening means you're going to hold your peace and not interrupt, then probably just nod in understanding as a friend pours his heart out. It makes it very hard to tell if someone is "listening" or merely "hearing". Hmm..

That's life. I've got a lot a lot to learn.

I borrowed a new book today. It's on food this time. HAHA. Random right. I wanted to read up on dreams, but I couldn't find them.. Or probably I didn't search high and low for it or put in enough effort to find it la. Hope I'll gain greater insights from this book too!

&the pages keep turning.

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Magnanimity.

That's the new word I learn today.

The ability to control your emotions and actions in response to indignities done by others is becoming increasingly rare in today's litigious society. Yet such a control is at the very core of the principle of magnanimity. For a mangnanimous person is one who rejects revenge and rises above anger while in pursuit of more worthy ends.

Magnanimity is not a common term. Many people do not recognise it when they hear it. But they know it immediately when it is explained, and most know it is one of the areas that can personally improve upon. For too many of us are quick to seek revenge, swift to criticize, fast to find fault, and speedy to get even. Yes, too many of us are slow to hold our tongues, slow to forgive, and even slower to forget. One of the leading reasons for a lack in magnanimity is what I call a scarcity mentality. People with a scarcity mentality think there is only so much in the world to go around. It's as if they see life as a pie. When another person gets a big piece, then they get less. Such people are always trying to get even, trying to pull others down to their level so they can get an equal or even bigger piece of the pie. But it is in abundance mentality and a feeling of inner security that truly are at the root of magnanimity.

Extracted from Everyday Greatness - Steven R. Covey

I just read this chapter today and I love this chapter the most.

I realise that I have learnt a lot from this book that I'm reading now. And often, we unconsciously let our emotions get over us so easily. We lose our emotions and let them control us instead.

I would think that I'm rather good at controlling my emotions. I would neither vent my anger on others, nor will I "hate" in the first place. Wait, maybe I'm not good at controlling my emotions, but I'm good at controlling my response to my emotions.

But I do resent. That's something that I'm still learning to let go. Resentment of my parents especially. I need to let it go. I won't say things like "I can't help it but feel this way." I absolutely hate hate hate hate this phrase because I am not going to let my circumstances to blind me from the capabilities I have to improve any situation. I am going to control my feelings properly and not let them overpower me. Saying things like "can't help it" with a negative connotation is like whining over your problems and letting all your negativity in your mind control you. I don't want that to happen to me. I do want to carry some hope and faith in all the little problems I face.

I agree with how resentment/hate is like taking poison. It overpowers you, takes over your mind, your soul, your sanity and eventually kills you. But what you're doing is wait for the "other person to die" (to solve the problem) - in reference to the above quote.
So what. In the end, both die. Isn't that lame?

Okay, getting a bit over-emotional here. Sorry.

In my next post, I'll answer a question that I asked quite awhile ago about being a good listener. Haha if not this post will be too long :x

This book made me reflect a lot on how I deal with situations and re-look at my values/principles in my life. I think it's a great book :)


Anyways, today's a nice day for me. Somehow, I just kept smiling the whole day. Haha I don't know why. I feel weird smiling at myself. I can feel that grin on my face while I was ordering food, eating my lunch, going to church, listening to the sermon, talking to friends etc etc. HAHA. I'm weird right. Just keep smiling.

For the first time, I went for Pembinaan GT which was something extra from the usual Youth service. It's held once every semester I think. But today's the first time I attended it. Maybe God had prepared this for me. I usually have violin lessons on Sundays, but somehow, my violin mate couldn't make it for today's lesson and so it was cancelled and it gave me a chance to attend this session :)

I had loads of fun with my group members, creating cheers, singing hymms, playing games and talking to them :) And with Erick, an ex TJCian, we'll talk about school etc. I had a lot of fun, really :D My church friends are nice and warm :) I should be more spontaneous about church activities next time, as a form of gratitude also.

Lesigh, work again tomorrow. Why do weekends pass this quickly?

Going with the flow of nature

&the pages keep turning.

I wept because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet.

I need to be more appreciative of what I have.

Today's great.
I'm happy. Simply happy :)
My heart flutters all over again.

Had a chatting session with Cass, Josh, TY, Martin & Lim Pin (who came later) at Starbucks at Eastpoint today. Haha army stories never end. And they never fail to amuse me and it made me realise how guai, smart and capable our class guys are. They don't ever get into trouble! Lol :D

Cass and I left around 5 plus for guitar lessons. Wts, we learnt notes on the 3rd string and it was really difficult to play the new songs. Die-ded.

On the way home, I was waiting for bus at Tampines Interchange and this surveyor from Prudential came to survey me and talk to me about savings etc. My my.. It made me realise that I really save so little. My pocket money from my parents were not enough to enable me to save.

Wait, it's probably my fault for being unable to save. I could just eat lesser, go out with friends less, spend less, window shop more, stop violin lessons and I probably can save a teeny weeny bit. But no, that's not going to happen. Not violin lessons at least. I will eat cheaper food from now on for lunch!! Unless lunch with friends. Hehe.

Anyway, I hear friends about their parents who don't agree with their choice of uni courses. While I have a lot of freedom of choice here. But then again, it will always make me think that they don't even care about me and that's why they don't ask or say anything. I should be grateful and be more appreciative with the freedom of choice I have and not think rubbish about how they don't care all that. Be grateful.

In the morning, Joshua showed me a link to Ayumi Hamasaki's music video. And I found another song by her also by randomly clicking on other links, called Jewel. I fell in love with the song! Now I'm just putting the song on repeat!! HAHA. But you know what? It's been a long long long time since I last listened to a Jap song. If not for that link that he shared, I think I won't even listen to Jap songs for now. I used to listen a lot, but I find that recently.. Hmm, quality of JPop kinda drop :/ Or.. Not my type of songs anymore. Even "Jewel" is a song from her 2006 album.

Awhile ago, Jamie came to talk to me on msn and one of the first few things she said to me was "I miss you" OMG. Made my night. For someone whom I won't expect to say hear such things from, actually said it to me. Really touched. And she said "I miss you" and not things like "I miss talking to you", "I miss your long hair" etc etc, but she just said "you". It's like missing me in entirety, and not just a specific part of me. Super sweet la :)

Then while eating dinner, I was watching "The Making of Katy Perry - Firework". It was touching and I really love this song which inspires me a lot :)



I'll find that spark in me. One day.

&the pages keep turning.

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.

I probably don't dare.

Dagu gave me a miss call and I called her back soon after. She needed my help at first but in the end, she solved it already and she ended up asking me about uni courses that I applied. Awww :) And Xiaogu also asked me awhile later. It's nice that someone cares in the family. Like how my uncle was the first one to call me after the results.

This made me reflect on myself again. I'm still feeling bitter about how I'm not honouring my parents. Just because they don't ask, I don't tell them. And I just assume that they don't care about me.

But in actual fact, I'm the one not making the effort to communicate.
All I'm doing is complaining and whining. Like what I'm doing now.

I probably just don't dare.

It's the weekends again! :D Yayness. Work has been really boring recently :/ And I've been sleeping at 11plus all the time, so I feel sleepy at work :/ One of my desk mates got posted to the UK branch for a month. He's he only one who has been friendly so far, other than my superior. So quite sad leh. Haha hope hope hope hope I make friends. *Cross fingers*

I'll probably not go anywhere this weekend though.
I need new pair of flats. But I'm so lazy to shop this weekend. I tried walking around Bugis Street after work today, but I couldn't find something that I really liked + price worthy. And as usual, I was shocked to see how ugly the shape of my feet is. Okay wait, I shouldn't get a shock already, since I see my feet everyday, but somehow, I was still shocked la!! >:(

Anyways, Jorene shared a link with me on FB, a harpist and violinist playing River Flows In You. Beautiful. It made me have the sudden urge to play the violin!! But it's late now.. So..... Maybe tomorrow? I must get rid of all my bad habits and then I will improve much more! I CAN DO ITTTTT. RAWR.

Oh yea, today, I woke up earlier than usual to iron the clothes I'm wearing to work.

Why do I still set the alarm using your birth date whenever I have the chance to?

It has become a habit for me since a long time ago. And now I get over conscious about it. LOLOLOL. Stupid me la.

I'll probably turn in soon. Sleepy max.
Looking forward to this simple weekend :)

Free like the wind

&the pages keep turning.

Be the person you want to meet. 

Today, as I was walking, I just wondered, why do I not like ramps?
I'd rather take stairs than to walk up or down inclined platforms that stretches a much longer way compared to the stairs.

I know that from every movement I make, I can be judged, or at least, it tells something about me. I was thinking about this ramp thing and..

Maybe, I'm a person who rushes for results and I won't like anything that goes slow?

Why do I say that? Because when you go up the ramp, you're slowly reaching the higher grounds. Whereas taking the stairs would make you reach the higher ground quicker. Does this make me a hasty person?

But I'm not sure if just by this ramp thingy, it actually will say something this "serious" about me.

My lunches are really lonely anyways. Haha. I'm still not familiar with my colleagues.. Maybe I won't ever be? Lol. But being alone always make me think a lot about myself. I'm constantly judging myself and I know I probably should stop.

Stop.

Like that'll ever work. Lol.

Tomorrow will be my 3rd week of work! :)

Anyways, I've been spending a lot of money recently. On gmarket stuff and on food -_- What I earn gets spent away this quickly. WTS. I need to have more self control man. I can feel myself putting on weight. Cuz after eating lunch/dinner, I just sit down in front of the computer and start doing some work if I'm at my work place, and start surfing the net/watching shows if I'm at home.

Talking about food, I remembered Livia told me how she couldn't really eat for 2 months. I don't know how she can actually survive that. Omg. I felt like crap when it happened to me for only 2 weeks since I came back from Indonesia. It felt so so so bad inside. But maybe that should happen to me now. Lol then I can eat less and spend less.

Okay, just kidding. I don't want that to happen ever again.

Meh. Just let me put on weight.

Will those feelings slowly go away..?

&the pages keep turning.

If you’re brave to say “goodbye”, life will reward you with a new “hello”. 

Oh my.. I don't even know how I actually survived today.
I saw this on a friend's wall on FB:

Girls will always be girls.. Love digging out the past even though it upsets the hell out of them. And guys will always be guys.. Will always have something annoying that ought to be dug out.

I'm not sure how true it is about the guys' part. But it's true for the girls' part. For me at least. Not that it upsets me, but I just like to think back. HAHA. Like I'm always living in the past.


Oh yes, I remembered something that my violin mate told me on Sunday. We were talking about dreams on our bus ride home. And her friends told her that if you dream of someone, it means that that someone is missing/thinking of you. Awwwww. But I wonder if it's true. I always thought it's because the dreamer keeps thinking of the person/issue and that's why he/she dreams about it. Kay, I shall read up on dreams next time :D

And wait. NO WONDER I DON'T DREAM MUCH. BECAUSE NOBODY MISSES ME :(

&the pages keep turning.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. 

I haven't been blogging regularly. Haha it's either I'm busy shopping at gmarket, or I'm watching drama. I'm into a new drama right now! It's called The Moon That Embraces The Sun. OhmiGod. I just love Kim Soo Hyun. Super handsome. Spazz like siao. HAHAHAHA. I especially love the scenes when he's with his hypocritical Queen, where they "argue" using profound language with deep meaning.

Anyways, on Friday, at office, there was some function going on and there was free buffet food for staff to eat. Lol! And that's when I got the chance to talk to the guy sitting beside me. Somehow I found out that he was from SMU and so I went to talk to him about his school environment, how interviews went etc when he was schooling previously. But.. It seems like a lot of things have changed, probably.

I had lunchie with my not-so-secret-lover at Billy Bombers! THE FOOD IS UBER GOOOOOOD. If you don't mind spending, it's highly recommended!! HAHA. It was only the price that was :/ :/ :/ :/ But I still enjoyed our uber awesome lunch!

After work, I headed to SMU to submit those stuffs needed for application. Yay, don't need to send the documents through snail mail and I don't have to bother thinking about how much worth of stamps do I need to use for mail ._. Surprisingly, SMU is really near my office! On the way home, I met my superior at Bras Basar platform and we talked quite a bit and she said if I'm studying at SMU next time, I can visit the office some time. Awwww :)

On the train, I was reading this book and ohmy, just the first chapter, and it made me teared. It was really touching. There's only 2 other books that made me cry. One was Kiffo and the Pitbul (I don't even know what's so touching. HAHA) and the other is Happy Birthday, a Japanese translated chinese book. Gonna continue reading it!

On Saturday, met my ex-bestie to go NUS open house! Haha there was a lot of complaining about how far the school was. Oh and how fat my legs are -_- Both of us weren't sure how to get there, like which bus stop to take the bus from to go to NUS (since we refuse to take the shuttle bus), and which stop should we alight at etc.

When we reached Buona Vista station, as we walked out of the gantry, we were deciding on whether to turn left or right to go out from the correct exit and reach the correct bus stop. I insisted the left because I really thought it was the correct way. And LOL. WRONG LA. DUH. HAHAHA. Then later on he was like "See I told you it's the right. We must always go to the right because right is the right way"

At NUS, after the Design & Envi talk, he didn't want to go to the booths hall and would rather sit down at the next talk's venue due to the crowd but I insisted that we go there to see see. And guess what! Fate brought me there. HAHAHA. I MET OUR CLASS PEOPLE! So surprising. Met Cass, Jerrie, Joshua and Pingy! :D So qiao la. But anyways, that day I really saw quite a lot of recognisable and familiar faces :D

After the FASS talk, we decided to have lunch at Just Acia at Marina Square. Plus it's near Suntec, can visit Cass since she asked to "visit meeeeee" (her). He kept saying that he don't want to go Suntec and won't go with me and he wants to go home etc. I was begging him to go with me and he arrogantly said, "You know you beg me the more I won't go right" Damned right. I figured out something. At the entrance to Raffles Link, if you turn left, it's to the MRT and right to Suntec. And I just walked to the right and said, "You always say we must walk to the right because it's the right way what" HAHA. So yay. End up he also go Suntec.

Soft-hearted guy.

Sometimes. lol.

While walking, we were just talking about random stuffs and I then said, "Oh really uh, I forgot" and then he went, "You don't remember anything about me" LOLOLOL. I GOT OWNED. I felt really bad but I retorted with, "Like you remember anything about me" Haha and just joked all the way about it. But really, I always think that people don't remember anything about me. Hmm, sometimes I think it's me. I'm the one who doesn't remember.. I'm the bad one.

Oh there was this thing about "You anti-social, stay in your comfort zone only" We kept calling each other anti-social because of some random and lame reasons. We're just forever suan-ing each other and it ends off with "Okay can" sarcastically. Haha. Anyways I think he really is someone like that. Prefers his home and games more than anything. Sigh. But me too. I'm still trying to get out of my comfort zone, go out there, talk to people, make friends, make decisions that I never thought that I will, do something different, and just be different.

It's probably the last time I'll meet him until a long long long time again later. Haha. It's always like that. Even this time, going for open houses, for NTU at least, I'm only the 2nd choice. If you get what I mean. If I wasn't the 2nd choice, we probably wouldn't even meet. HAHAHA.

Talking about this ex best-friend, a friend once asked me, "A best friend can "ex" one meh?" Then another friend told me that it's possible when one just moves on and all that. I'm quite curious what defines a best friend. I would think that it's someone whom I will turn to, first, before anyone else. But I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.

Anyways, today, I had violin lesson. I think I'm improving :) I'm slowly removing my bad habits. Yup, slowly, slowly. Feel really happy :) And my vibrato sounds nicer also. Me must jiayou jiayou!

Okay some anonymous rants now. Felt kinda broken-hearted when I saw you.
Giving me almost-cold shoulders, like you were in your own world. Without me.
But I just chose to turn away, turn all my attention away.

&the pages keep turning.

We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.

These days pretty much the same routine.
Wake up early, go to work, lunch alone, work, go home.
Maybe I need some thrill again? :x :x

Oh yesterday, met Charmain and Wenxiu for dinner though. Had ramen at Aoba. I'm really glad Wenxiu's back. We did a little sharing about our lives over dinner and Wenxiu was shocked about mine. HAHA. It's good that's she's back, because if I told her everything (which I didn't), she would understand the whole situation much better or it'll just be much easier to tell her stuff. Since she knows something that only the two of us knows. In our class at least.

All of us are working. So I hope that we'll still make time to meet once in awhile! :)

I was kinda busy yesterday at work. For the whole day I settled 2 courier mail stuff. LOL I kinda like doing it. Then today, keying in agreements/contracts into excel was boring -_- Nothing much about work.

I think it's the printer that area. LOL. It made me talk to people there.
Yesterday, one of my desk mates needed to print something. In the end he printed them on the rough paper that I put into the paper tray. And yep. Start of a mini convo. And he asked me in the end, "You are Vivi (vee-vee) right?" HAHA THEN END OF CONVO ._.

Quite pathetic. I am pathetic. I CMI at making friends!!

There's something weird in the office. We're sitting in the same office, and yet, we communicate through emails. Like o.O!! I just find it weird. Lololololololol.

Something random for today. I was smsing my not-so-secret-lover and I suddenly just thought of some things that made me feel awkward ._. I'm not used to saying you're welcome. And I find it really weird when conversations go like this:

A: Hey, good luck in ________.
B: Thanks!
A: You're welcome.

Alternatively,

C: Happy birthday!
D: Thanks!
C: You're welcome.

But if it's:
E: Oh thanks for helping me with _______.
F: You're welcome.

Or,

G: Thank you for your present.
H: You're welcome.

saying "You're welcome" in these situation seems perfectly fine to me. Lol. I don't know why. If it's conversations like the first two examples, I find it awkward. HAHA. Nevermind. Just random.

Let me be your enthusiast.

&the pages keep turning.

Once you say you’re going to settle for second, that’s what happens to you in life. 

I had a dream last night again. Haha it's so rare that I consecutively dream for a few days. I'm happy! I still remembered my dream this morning. But if you ask me now, I totally can't remember at all. But I just know that I dreamt about 24/10! Hahahaha. I keep dreaming about our class ._.

Maybe I kinda miss school a bit. Work is ... LOL no friends. Okay, maybe 1. Or 2. Only.

Work was pretty much normal. A lady came to teach me some of our library system thingy and she's really nice! :) At first I thought I would feel stressed about learning the library system because probably next time I'll be the one keying in stuff into the database and all that. But I think.. I'll do just fine. Hopefully!

I had lunchie with Komala at Lenas. Food was good and lunch set was worth it! Go try it guys! (Whoever is reading this right now)

And today improvement! When I left the office, I got 1 more "goodbye". HAHAHAHA. Just one more. My superior always says "bye" to me though. But today, the guy sitting next to me also said "bye" to me! The rest.. Still no "byes" though :/ *awkward* I want to make friendddddsssssss. Damn desperate here. I hope there will be some 18-20 year old person who will work here soon :(

I started reading the book that I borrowed again. Left 3 more chapters and I'm done (like finally). I take way way way too long to read a book.

Anyways, on the way home on the train, heard 2 people talking about Chemistry. Talking about how Chemistry sucked and all that. It made me kinda think back about my ambition back in TK. I wanted to be a chemical engineer. I love Chem and I still do. Unfortunately, my grades can't bring me there. Sometimes I think, what if writing essays, if I get to study Psychology, is not my cup of tea? Although I would like to study people's thoughts and behaviour, what if I can't express them through writing? What if I'm more suited for Science/Math but grades like mine can't bring there?

What if I'm suited for something else and not Psychology?

Those "what if"s just kept haunting me and it kinda scared me a little.

I remembered the NTU lecturer said that he got into his 2nd choice, which was Economics and that's how he became an Econs professor and he says he enjoys whatever he does. 2nd choices are not always bad. And maybe the 2nd choice IS the one that you want deep down in your heart? Like the first choice was just a distraction from what you really wanted. If Chem is my first choice, will settling for my second choice make me happy in the future?

Or maybe somehow I get to study Chem, I might not be happy afterall because I THOUGHT that was what I wanted and when I get to study it, it's not what I wanted actually?

My friend told me that second choices are not always bad.

But what if, the first and the second choices are bad?

What's third for me?

Okay, I think I should stop thinking about these "what if"s. Not like I'll get an answer soon.

Forget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life.

What is the difference?

Your life situation exists in time.
Your life is now.

Your life situation is mind-stuff.
Your life is real.

"What if"s are just mind-stuff. I need to get real.

Let me,

&the pages keep turning.

Would you rather have a friend tell you a truth that'll hurt, or know nothing at all?

&the pages keep turning.

Most of the shadows in this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. 

I had a very weird dream last night. I was having stitches on my left waist and left hand. It wasn't done by a doctor but it was done by my aunt. Without any anesthesia. LOL. It wasn't painful after awhile. You know the reason why I got those stitches? Because my whole body ached. What kind of reason is that right? Hahahaha.

The scene changes. I met a secondary school friend somewhere. It was random. LOL. Then the scene changes again and I'm on my bed resting after the stitches were done. Then my sister woke me up and shouted from the windows of the toilet and I said, 'Go bathe la!'. That was what I was supposed to say to her in the dream, but I did it in real life. It was really awkward when I woke up. HAHAHA. Cuz in real life, she wasn't in the toilet but she came to the room to wake me up, and then I replied her 'go bathe la' NO LINK AT ALL. LOL.

When I woke up, I was checking my body for stitches. Lol so obviously I can't lucid dream.

Today's another normal day for me.
I didn't understand half of the sermon. LOL. One of the reasons was I was distracted by my phone. The bible app wasn't working well and I was busy trying to find and download other bible apps from the marketplace. And I explored those apps that I downloaded. Lol.

At church, my friends talked to me about A level results and then about what I want to apply or how I should apply etc. Hehe quite thankful for the little tips and guidance they gave me! :) And somehow, even though my results not good and stuff, I didn't quite mind talking about them. Going to church kinda make me smile today even though the day started off with me feeling like I had no mood for anything. Idk why.

Anyways, I shouldn't procrastinate so much. Tomorrow I must apply already. I've gotten my printer cartridge so there's no more excuses that printer no ink so I cannot print stuff if it's required in the application.

Today, I had some thought about self-confidence. I think I'm not someone with low self-esteem when I'm alone or deep in thought with myself. But with people around, my self-esteem becomes really low and that's where my confidence level drops. I'm too conscious about what people think of me. My mind kills me. I need to be in the Now.

What if you end up being with someone whom you thought it'll be impossible?

&the pages keep turning.

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; don’t walk behind me, I may not lead; walk beside me, and just be my friend. 

Today, I went for the NTU open house with my ex-bestie. HAHAHA. Still insisting on the "ex". I thought.. SMU did a better job at promoting their school compared to NTU. But I still wish I can get into as many faculties/courses of my choice as possible. Then I can take some time to think through where I should go. Sigh, but my results like that.. I don't know whether I can make it or not :(

At some point in time, when the speaker tried to mention NUS or SMU, it was funny how one of them kept saying, "our neighbour, our cousin, our sister school" and another said, "I forgot the name.. Uh.. The one in Clementi. Oh and another at.. Bras Basar" HAHA.

Anyway, today, miracles didn't happen. Still got called "fat" -_- At one point, I was asking him if he made good friends in JC and he said not really. I told him that good friends don't always have to be guys and can be females from his class and he said, "No pretty ones". LOL! And he continued on to say to me, "That's why we cannot be good" MEAN RIGHT. HAHAHAHAHA. Forever saying I ugly and fat. What a nice ex-bestie I have.


He also said he kinda have a lot of haters. I was rather surprised. He's quite an easy-going person I thought. I couldn't think of ways that he could actually offend someone other than his ah beng style ._. It makes me wonder what he actually did.

Today, surprisingly, I saw people that I know at the open house! I seldom meet people I know cuz I usually not much fate with them leh :/ I met Belz on the way to one of the talks but we were walking in opposite directions. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Your boyfriend uh?" which referred to my ex-bestie. HAHA UBER FUNNY. That's like impossible of the impossible.

I somewhat believe that it's not possible for 2 best friends of the opposite gender to not fall for each other. But I also believe that it's possible because Jie and I are the example of 2 besties (or used to be besties) who will never fall for each other. LOL. Argh, paradox. But I guess it depends on who right.. Like it varies with different people.

Oh yes, on the train back home, we were randomly talking about something which I can't remember what. And he suddenly recited my handphone number. Omg. I was super touched. I didn't think that he would because he's just like the many people out there who doesn't remember a thing about me. HAHA. I'm touched at the fact that a friend would actually remember my number. And of course I remembered his numbers also since I used to call him like almost everyday to talk back in primary school. Hurhur. And I know that Jorene remembers mine too. Awww, feel damn touched!! :D

I always need reminders to remind me that I'm truly blessed.


And next week to NUS :)

&the pages keep turning.

Just checked the forums regarding hostel stay in NTU.
DANG. There's no compulsory hostel stay for year 1s :( OH MAN.. I HEARD THERE WAS. NO MORE CHANCES OF ME STAYING IN THE HOSTEL ANYMOREEEE :( But not like I know that I can get into NTU with these kind of grades anyway.. Zzz.

Ciao.

&the pages keep turning.

Distance is not an obstacle, but it’s a beautiful reminder of how strong true love can be. 

Helloooez. Yesterday I was supposed to blog about a couple of things but since I was on my phone, I was kinda lazy la. I'm here now. HAHA. Again.

I like work today. I wasn't given much task. For the whole day, I was doing only 1 thing. LOL. Which was to do the alignments properly for over 10 resolutions in .doc files and find the I/C or passport numbers of the directors etc. Me being a perfectionist will try to align it until it looks perfect -_- So I took really long for each document. Finding the I/C number was difficult also. Had to look through soooo many files just to find them. But I like it when my superior doesn't ask me to do a lot of stuff. Yep, in fear that I will make mistake and all that :/ Time for me to leave my comfort zone and learn something.

Oh, I broke the ice. Yay :)
Or I think it's my colleague that triggered the breaking of ice. I met this colleague on the bus to Bedok MRT. Before getting down the bus, she turned back, and I quickly waved and said hi. Then while walking to the MRT, she turned back occasionally or looked from the corner of her eyes to see if I was there. At the platform, she also turned back and that's when I started the conversation by asking where she stay and all that. Haha all thanks to her "turning backs" that I felt less awkward to talk :)

Ice broken. Alrighhhttt. Way to go!

We exchanged our names in the toilet at work. LOL!
But crap. I forgot her name :x

Anyways, the train today was uber packed. Both of us stood there squeezed and it was hard to breathe. I wish I was taller. Usually hot air rises, but I think in the train, the air feels cooler up there -_- And the MRT needs a pipe for oxygen leakage. Lol. It felt really good after getting off the train. 

Oh yea, even when I left my workplace, I did say bye to my colleagues. Only my superior plus the guy sitting next to me bothered to say bye or smile back though. Sad. Haha that's life.

And I had a sumptuous lunch today. Alone. I packed ToriQ + veggies + veg korean pancake back to the office to eat. Then I watch Running Man on my phone and I was laughing to myself like some mad person -_- WTS.

At night, I was asked out for a walk but we ended up sitting at the Open Plaza at TM to talk. Hahahaha I asked whatever I wanted to already and now I'm satisfied :D

But there was this awkward moment. Or at least I felt awkward inside.
But I pretended to sound normal and continued to show interest in knowing :x

Yesterday I wanted to blog about "army". Yesterday TY enlist so it's almost all the guys in our class who enlist liao. Left those May people. And then recently, I've heard about you being in a relationship and all that. I'm sure you all know who I'm referring to. HAHA. And I sure feel happy for you and all my other friends who's attached and have their other halves in army.

It's really mysterious how army can bring two people closer to one another when one would think that army would make two people talk lesser and eventually lose feelings for each other etc.! I always see couples posting pictures on FB. Distance is definitely not an issue. Haha army is not an issue to a lasting relationship. I think it's really nice! And I have a friend who got together with her bf just before he enlisted. Quite cool eh. Even a midst going to serve the army, he'd still choose to confess, she'd still choose to accept. So sweeeeet. Awwww :D

I know I'm definitely not ready to be in relationship right. But the thought of being liked/loved sure is nice :)

I had a dream last night. I think it was a long dream. But I only remembered the behind part. I remembered Cass, Dylan and Jasper appeared. Probably our whole class was there but I forgot the front part of the dream. Had some mission I think. Anyway, just when it was going to be the start of a conversation between this person and I, THE ALARM HAD TO RING. DAMN IT. I wanted to converse with this person to tell this person about what happened earlier in the dream. But I bet it'll end sooner or later. LOLZ.

Why is it so hard to sustain a conversation?
I must really suck at it :/ I suck I suck I suck.

Still all in a moment like this.

&the pages keep turning.

Hello! Today I shall blog from phonie cuz I lazy to switch on lappie when I just got home awhile ago and I'm going to bathe and sleep soon.

Today, I learnt about courier mail at office. I'm damn noob right. Hahaha I didn't know how the whole system works and my superior made me call the courier company and I learnt something. Morning was uber boring though. I was doing something like 'spot the difference', trying to see the difference between 4 uber long documents -_-

In the evening, met Jing Yi, Joce, Livia and XF for dinner at Bugis! Supposedly to meet before Hui Qi goes overseas plus celebrate Jing Yi's birthday but ended up, HQ couldn't come and we didn't quite have the chance to celebrate her birthday with a cake or birthday song. Still had a great time with them though :)

There was this part about Livia giving me goosebumps when she talked about her bf. Hahahahaahhaha. I was shocked. Anyways, everything about her was so unexpected! When she said what she had to, I couldn't help but cringe my fingers. HAHA. Couldn't expect someone like her to be so 'sweet'. LOL! But she's still awesome la :D

Kay I guess that'll be all today :)

&the pages keep turning.

Haha why I so emo weemo last time?
I kept on saying that I wanna die in my long-time-ago posts. What a joke! Just happened to read my archives and it's funny how I manage to get through so far of my life. And more to come. Haha. Unless I die tomorrow :) Cheers!

&the pages keep turning.

Obstacles are those things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

My personal most favourite quote.

WHO SAYS I'M FRIENDLY?! Omg. I'M TOTALLY NOT :(
I feel damn bad today.

I didn't say bye to my other desk mates when I left the office for home just now. I really still feel awkward and I haven't really broken the ice with them yet :( WHEN WILL I BREAK THE ICE? Argh!

At office, I didn't have much tasks. But for each task that I had to complete, I spend really a long time. Or more like I just love taking my own sweet time :D Oooops :x

There were a few times when I had nothing to do, then the fear crept in. The fear of getting a task from my superior, the fear of making mistakes, the fear of having to keep up with expectations. I really feel like going home. I remembered during the interview, I promoted myself so well as if I'm really pro, but in actual fact, I'm only like that. Like like this -_- And I probably disappointed my superior somewhat when I don't understand a lot of things, do things slowly, worst still, do things wrongly. Oh man.. I need to jiayou jiayou!

Why do I fear so much?


For lunch, I was obento-ing myself in the office. I WOKE UP LATE TODAY -_- And reached the office 15minutes late. *guilty max* I went to switch off my alarm -_- WTH. So I ended up putting my breakfast in my lunchbox to bring it to work for lunchie. Then I walked to Bugis Junction, bought some junk food from Old Chang Kee, ate it while walking, went to Kinokuniya and then back to office again. Haha spending quality time alone :P No stress.

Oh, after work, I went to the library to renew my library book. ARE YOU JEALOUS THAT THE NATIONAL LIBRARY'S SO NEAR MY WORK PLACE? :D :D :D Now the borrowing system is so awesome! Renewing doesn't cost a cent! I remember last time we need to pay 50cents or something.

ME CANNOT BE LATE TOMORROW.
AND I MUST SAY "BYE"

&the pages keep turning.

Some build walls around their hearts, not just to protect themselves, but also to see who care to break them down. 

Today is the real #manyawkwardmoments Omg.

I shall talk about the most awkward thing last.

At work, I made quite a lot of mistakes today :/ That was one awkward thing.
I kinda feel that my superior's instructions were not clear enough. Is it just me? Am I stupid or stupid? Yes, I must be stupid -_- I made quite a lot of mistakes so I a bit paiseh to leave on time also.

Then as I mentioned yesterday, nobody else actually talked to me at work right. So I actually don't quite recognise the people who sit around me.. Then today, I was at the shredder. Something went wrong with it and a guy came over to help me. After I finish with the shredding, I went back to my seat and suddenly this guy talked to me. I turned back, OMGZXASDFZX it was the guy who helped me with the shredder and he's actually sitting beside me. OMG. I didn't even know the guy who helped me with the shredder is actually my desk mate!! WTS. I damn fail seriously.

The main thing that made me feel uber awkward.
My dad went back to Indonesia early this morning. When I woke up, preparing myself to go to work, I saw him taking the luggages, leaving home for airport already. Omg. He was here for about 2 weeks. I didn't talk to him much, he didn't talk to me much, I didn't tell him about my results, he didn't ask me about my results, I didn't tell him about work, he didn't ask me about work. And suddenly, he's going back to Indo.

When I saw him at the door, for a moment, I felt so awkward inside. How have I been treating my parents? Why am I not telling them anything? Why am I deciding everything on my own, my school life, my violin lessons and whatever lessons I wanna take up, my job, my uni life and everything else. WHY AM I DECIDING THINGS MYSELF? Not that I don't like deciding things on my own, but.. Since when do I treat my parents like my parents? I don't even consult them about anything.

I always ask myself, "Why are my parents not like my parents?"
But it should actually be my parents asking, "Why is my child not like my child?"

Because I'm so distant from them. I don't even ask them for opinions, update them about my life and I just go about deciding things on my own without a care about what they think. They have all the right to ask "Why is my child not like my child?" and I shouldn't be asking "Why are my parents not like my parents?" when I'm just this closed up. Or I chose to be.

I called my mum awhile ago, to tell her about my work and stuff. I thought I would be able to sustain a few minutes because I wanted to her about how my work has been, the kind of people I met, the kind of work I do, the kind of environment I'm in etc. But the call ended in 1.09minutes. It was a really quick call. She didn't seem quite interested or maybe I perceived it that way. She seemed like she was rushing for time as she asked me "Why?" quickly when I started the convo with "Are you free now?" And the replies I get was just "huh huh huh" in agreement. But quick ones. I didn't know how to continue it anymore. But I just sounded cheerful as I ended off with "Next time I'll treat you and Dad to a meal okay?" At that moment I felt like tearing so much.

Oh after work, I met Jorene to help her with vectors a little and eat with her. On the way home in the train, I told her about my awkward moment with my family and then she just gave me the awkward look and said my family's just different :/ She then shared that her family's quite messed up. I realise, it's totally opposite from mine. My family's not messed up at all. BUT THERE'S JUST SOMETHING WRONG. DARN WRONG. I don't know man. Maybe I'm making it wrong.

When we first met

&the pages keep turning.

Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.


First day of work today! :D

&the pages keep turning.

The biggest challenge is to be yourself because the whole world around you wants you to be someone else.

Today is absolutely great! I had a new perspective about uni life, uni studies and what I really want to do and achieve in the future. Met my not-so-secret-lover to go SMU's open house together today. We had a chat with a psychology major student and she was rather informative and I thought she gave really good reasons why we should choose SMU and those are the reasons that'll make me leave my comfort zone.

And what a coincidence! Saw Charmain, Wenxiu, Vanessa, Jia Yi and Zhi Qian there also. Hehe.

I think I should leave my comfort zone.
And if I could be in SMU, I'll be.


Hope I'll get through interviews man.. I needa start reading newspapers everyday to gain more knowledge about current affairs. If not I'm screwed.

Sometimes there's always this thing about how people judge you just because you're in private unis or getting into a school which seems less credible or prestigious. Like how many people would think that we should all aim for NUS because it's ranked 30+ in the world, as compared to NTU and SMU. Then when you tell people that you're from some random uni that lesser people heard of, they start judging you, thinking you're academically less able and all that.

Komala told me about how she felt when she first entered SIM and it was those same feelings about being conscious about how others would judge you based on the school you go to. But after awhile, she said what you want to do in the school would actually be more important, rather than being bothered by what others think about you.

She also told me that it's true that SMU may not have their name as big as NUS/NTU, but SMU students tend to be more aggressive and much more competitive. Even though she's not student there, but she sure is very knowledgeable about things all around. I'm glad to be able to talk to her on the way home from violin lesson just now! And I'm glad I was able to hear a lot of things that changed my opinion about how I should view my uni studies (I'm still considering a lot of things in my head, but suddenly it becomes apparent that it's not all about the school that you go to, but how you make use of the curriculum to help you develop your character as a whole while learning about the subject). And like what her friends would say, she really inspires :) 

Anyways, violin lesson was better than usual :D LOL. I think today I play not too bad leh! Plus, I'm slowly getting rid of my violin playing bad habits! Woohoo!! :D

Me starting work tomorrow! Wish me luck ;D

Summer after high school

&the pages keep turning.

Oh man. Feel like crap already and there must always be someone who makes me feel worse.
I took a little nap because I was a little sleepy.. I woke up, and there she goes, saying things like "You're so lazy. Wake up, eat, use laptop, sleep" Then WHY NOT SHE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO? I've got myself a job already which will start next week, when I go out, I get scolded for eating out and spending money, then what am I supposed to do? Scrub every corner of the house like now? IS SHE GOING TO GIVE ME PART OF HER PAY IF I DO THAT?? Plus, I help her with what I can. Even everyone else says I'm too kind and just because I don't say anything and keep quiet about things, she has to step over me like this? I wish I could complain a whole lot of things to her about her and get out of this damned house.

Maybe I should be wishing to go to NTU. I heard there's some compulsory hostel stay for Year 1 students. That'll be the perfect excuse for me to tell my parents to allow me to stay at the hostel.

Just for me to get away.

&the pages keep turning.

A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.


It's like I'm lost.

Man.. Today's gonna be a boring day.
Anyways, I've completed my dayzero of listing down my 50 favourite quotes :) Should write one here everytime I post. Oh it started yesterday already actually!

I woke up feeling really depressed today. Probably a follow up of yesterday's.
I woke up feeling like I shouldn't have woken up.
I woke up feeling like I wished that I could just sleep forever.

And what stony? I was just depressed and needed some distractions.

On the way home last night from PP with the class, I was talking to Cass, telling her that I'd expect myself to meet Jerrie more than her. Since I was much closer to Jerrie at school compared to Cass. Haha but the unexpected always happens. The end of JC has made me talk to people whom I wouldn't think I would ever talk much to such as Cass, TY and Ye Shen. We must always expect the unexpected? It feels as if I'm making new friends. Feels nice :)

Ohyea. I didn't blog about my dream I had 2 nights ago. I dreamt of my A level results. And it was exactly the way I dreamt it. Except for GP. Which I did slightly better in reality than in my dreams. Some kind of deja vu? Creepy. I seldom dream and when I do, it's so darn accurate? Wts. But please, I don't even want to dream about these kind of things anymore.

In another life,
who would I be to you?

&the pages keep turning.

Just 2 years ago, we were collecting O level results. Time flies, really quickly.
Just 2 years ago, I saw my name being flashed on the screen, those who got 6 or more A1s.

But this time, I guess, not so lucky uh. HAHA. Don't work hard then can get good results? FAT HOPE. It's kinda funny how I deal with my studies. The curriculum in JC is much tougher compared to secondary school, but I worked much harder back then than I did in JC. Not enough discipline and motivation.

Anyway, I feel super happy for all my friends and classmates who did well for As! I think our class people did uber well :D HAHA me one of the low scoring ones ._. Ooops. And me being me, I'm like numb about results. I will never shed a single tear over bad results. And so, today, I didn't cry at all. Am I being too optimistic? :/

The best part was Chem. How the hell did I even get B -_- In school, I always fail or barely get E. And I was so shocked when I saw a B for Chem. History was a total disappointment but somewhat expected. Disappointment because at school, it's my 2nd best subject after Math, yet I didn't do well for As. But expected because I totally screwed up that paper.

Physics came to me as a surprise. Only for Paper 2, I had mixed feelings about it. But I thought overall it wasn't too bad. It turns out I was wrong la. Totally got owned -_-

So overall, I didn't do too well. And I totally deserve it.

Hmm. I seriously don't feel a thing about my results cuz I know I deserve this kind of results. Oh just feel sad to disappoint teachers who helped me a lot but I still produce these kind of crappy results.. 

My uncle was the first one to call me and he actually said "It's quite good what!" not in those way where one tries to comfort me, but he genuinely mean it. Then he also told me if there's anything, should tell my parents and all that. I need more initiative.

Oh then when Mr Ang gave out the results, all he said to me was "Stay positive" Hahaha and I immediately knew it that I must have done badly :x After that, some of us went to meet Mr Seng to thank him and all that. The first thing he said to me was, "It was disappointing right?" And I just nodded my head. But he continued on saying he doesn't want sympathise with those who don't work hard and don't do well and he said that he's seen me working hard and it's not always the results but the process. He was really encouraging :)

But I was thinking.. Work hard? Have I? It's true that I do all his homework, complete everything he wants, ask questions occasionally, consultation and all that.. But.. What about all the last minute studying?

Anyway, I don't want to regret anything now. What's done is done. So.. Let's just hope.. I can get into the course I want? It's gonna be hard though and I'm not confident about it at all. Cross my fingers.

Shall end off with this quote that I strongly believe in:
Disappointment is inevitable, discouragement is a choice.

&the pages keep turning.

Today's a simple day! Ironed clothes in the morning and then watch a drama that Jaime introduced in the afternoon. And at night, dinner with my ex-bestie. HAHA I still insist on the "ex" :P

A miracle happened today. LOL.
For the past 7 years of so, this ex-bestie has been calling me "fat". Usually, one of the things he'll say when we meet is, "You're still fat." Like lol only. And today, when we met, he asked, "Have you slimmed down?" MIRACLE I SWEAR. But then, later on, he continued, "I think it's just your shirt right" HAHA -_-

We had dinner at Ajisen Ramen. My 2nd time in 2 weeks ._. I didn't expect myself to eat it so often. Lol. Then.. I got a splinter -_- JKMN. Hurts. 2nd time getting splinter. The last time was in Sec 2 and Jian Ning spent so long trying to dig it out for me and IT HURTS. WTF. And this time, I give up trying to find it. This ex-bestie said, "Wood is biodegradable right?" LOL. Wait for it to decompose under my skin? ._.

Going out with this ex-bestie gives me the same nice feeling as going out with Jorene. Always simple, but enjoyable. He always has a lot of things to say about his life and those usual mean stuff also. Yep. It's been a long time since we last met though. He's always straightforward and doesn't hide anything. Oh and a super duper thick skinned guy who always thinks he's damn handsome. HAHAHAHA.

But anyway, I wished we would be in the same school. If we were, I think we'll still be best friends. But, in friendships, distance is not supposed to be an issue right? But seems like it has become an issue in ours. A friendship not strong enough huh? Haha. But at least we still keep in contact la. But just that it has come to a point where he wouldn't be the one I would share anything with first and vice versa. Hmm..

GOOD LUCK FOR TOMORROW EVERYBODY!

I actually didn't feel anything. But recently, friends keep counting down and talking about results and it's making me slightly nervous :S Good luck to me. I need a miracle like today.

The little miracles everyday.

&the pages keep turning.