Today when you said "it's ok to feel burn out" I can't help but tears just welled up in my eyes. That's when I realise maybe I'm really burn out. I guess I never thought I am burn out from work until today. Looking back at my performance, mindset, my energy level in the last month or so.... I guess I am...

Only today, I noticed that I haven't been saving my leaves. Rather, I'd choose to take it as and when I can (for example when I see that the company calendar empty, I'll request for a day off). I used to tank work for 11 days straight just so that I can accumulate my off-in-lieus and go for short/long holiday trips. But not in the recent 2 months. I'd take any chance I have to request for leave, to hang out with friends or even stay at home and do my own thingy. All I want is to escape from work - "hallmark is the distancing that goes on in response to the overload"

But then again... Escaping doesn't solve anything. The work still has to be completed. Tons of work to be done > escape from work > even more work gets piled up > want to escape from work every more and it just keeps going in circles like this.

My motivation to work is really low now. Performance wise is also not too good because I'm overwhelmed by the workload and I keep getting nagged at at work. I don't know who can help me because I have no colleagues and my bosses just continues to throw things at me.

I guess I don't know how to voice out what I'm struggling with as well.

&the pages keep turning.