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Enjoy your stay here,
&hope something would inspire you.
Keep everything that's here just between you and me okay ;)
Friday 20 February 2015
@01:19
It's day one of CNY.
Okay technically it's day two now.
I'm feeling quite down right now.
I feel bad for feeling down because it's the new year. Then it reminded me of 3 years ago, I was crying madly to my mum during CNY too. Over going to university, hostel stay, and issues about remaining in Singapore. Yea I still feel bad for crying so much that time. So much negativity.
And now I feel like crying too. So many negative thoughts start to pour into my mind. It all began with calculations of money. I messed up so many things. Felt so lost and confused. And then I looked at my finances and I don't seem to be doing too good as well. Then I thought about relationships and I felt little hope.
I shouldn't have done the monetary stuffs today. Then I wouldn't need to talk to various people so seriously about money today. I felt like a loan shark to my friends. Because I looked at my own finances and I started asking friends back for money.
I feel utterly bad and down..
I really must be too free. I must focus tomorrow. On studying. And not let my mind wonder off elsewhere..
Please give me the strength to stay positive. May I wake up to a new light.
&the pages keep turning.
Sunday 15 February 2015
@13:14
Happy belated VDay everyone!
Just read a couple of articles and watched a video and I would like to share some of them with you! Some made me feel so touched, while others made me think some things through. You can click on the links to get access to the web pages!
#1 'Singapore respects us as few nations do' :')
#2 Blind Devotion :')
#3 6 Reasons Why The Right Person For You Should Always Make You Nervous Yea, sometimes having that "awkward" feeling from wondering about where we'd be a few years down the road or even decades later. But that's how life is, unpredictable, yet beautiful all the same.
So yesterday, Nini and I had a date! Unfortunately, how it started was totally not what I had expected. We were supposed to have lunch (I thought), but he ended up having his lunch at home because his dad bought some food back. So somewhere in between our communications must have broken down.
I hate communication break downs. I hate it when people around me don't listen to what I say. I hate it when people don't understand what I'm saying and yet they don't clarify. I got so upset and disappointed and the tears just couldn't stop flowing. It was stupid of me that my mood can get ruined so easily. Is this about expectations again? But I don't think expectations about communication is a lot to ask.
We met, late, and when I saw him I just almost ignored him and walked away while continuing to be on my phone, changing the reservation timing for Poulét. I tend not to confront, but give cold shoulders instead. I honestly dislike this about myself. But this Nini, he doesn't ever react to my angst with more angst. And that's something that I can't be more thankful for. As we all know, aggression and "an eye for an eye" just doesn't resolve anything. Instead, he told me about his interaction with his mum this morning and it was funny and I couldn't help but laugh.
So handsome when he smiles right! :D Especially in the top picture!
Henderson Waves is a lovely place. It was cooling there and had a nice view of Singapore's concrete jungle. Haha. I have never heard of that place before until yesterday. Apparently it's the tallest pedestrian bridge, approx. 70m above sea level! Haha and since it's VDay, there were also many many many couples there. I think I haven't seen so many couples concentrated in a small area before.
And we did our mini gift exchange there. I was surprised because I didn't think he'd buy me anything! To me I don't think it's really necessary for gifts during special occasions, but heartfelt words or cards with loads of sincerity is more more more than enough for me. Haha what's enough for me then? Spending time together is definitely enough for me. Am I asking for too much? Hahahaha since time can be even more precious than buying gifts :O
I only prepared him a card and my gift for him is on the way, somewhere in the hands of the delivery man. Haha hope it can reach before CNY, so that I'll be able to give him sooner! If not the delivery will probably only continue after CNY :( Hope he'll like it when he receives it!
We were supposed to go camping at ECP at night but we couldn't get camping permit. And I being myself, the humji one, afraid that we might get caught and chased away because I was reading news article on penalties for camping "illegally," I decided to call it off.
That's VDay for me!
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I had a pretty good time in the last two weeks!
On Friday, Chu Quan, Emmeline, Nadiah, SY and I went to CAC+US concert to support Shawn! And have to thank Shawn for the tickets because apparently it is not easy getting tickets since it's a popular concert afterall! And it's my first dance concert! CAC has other musical/singing groups as well, but I think dance groups mainly dominates the club. I love to watch people dance! Haha I'm envious because I can't dance for nuts man. I especially loved the Ballroom dancers. Ahhhh such elegance.
And this Robert! Didn't even tell us he was performing. Haha but Emm and I managed to catch this popz dude and take a picture with him. Hahahah. Met other friends who performed as well, such as Novi, Momo, Leonard etc! SO MUCH TALENT!! Omg.
SY also gave me a rose! Haha my first rose for this VDay. Shall try to keep it healthy for as long as I can. Now the rose is in a bottle, placed in the balcony!
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On Thursday night, Jam City sang Lucky to Wenz! Woohoo! It was a song I dedicated to her for VDay. Glad that she was in her room at that time because I randomly signed up for them to sing to her at about 10.30pm. Wheeee~ So happy she liked it!
And it's all thanks to Kai Ying, who encouraged me to dedicate a song! And of course thanks to the Juke Box by Jam City for having such initiative in the first place! So that night after Open Mic, KY, Nini and I went to the dining hall to sign up for this dedication thing. Haha so as I was writing a message to Wen Yi which went something like "Lucky to have you in my life! .........." (I forgot this part) and I must have said something shameless and KY added on that I am shameless. Haha so Wen Yi's message became: Lucky to have you in my life! ....... Kai Ying say I shameless. Ni Yi say he jealous, I say they damn pointless.
Hahahaha it rhymed. That's why it was funny. WHEE~
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On Wednesday night, a few of us went to Yi Jia's place to surprise her for her 21st birthday! It was fun hahahaha. And before that Nic accompanied me shopping! So touched :D It was a few hours of walking because I couldn't exactly decide what to get for this birthday gal. Thanks Nic!! He hates shopping/walking so much in fact. But this dude still accompanied all the way, albeit the whines. HAHAHAHA.
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Last Saturday, Hak 14 peeps also met up to have our own steamboat reunion dinner! Great to see everyone and glad they're doing well :) Many people are forging very close friendships and I feel heartwarmed by it! Then SY brought CNY songs and played it. HAHAHAHA the one she brought was her ahma's disk I think. Like oldies version of CNY songs. HAHA! Anyway, huat ah! Cheers to a new year~
Photo credits: Our talented photographer, Hong Wei!
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Last Thursday, I performed a medley of songs with a few seniors from CAPT :') Really happy that Wen Yi invited me to perform with them! Makes me miss CAPT life and reminisce over those wonderful days :') While the seniors whom I performed with were not exactly people whom I'm very close to, but the thought of performing together as a seniors' band makes my heart flutter with excitement! I had fun that night, but I guess it might be our last performance since they might not be staying next year (and hence nobody would invite me anymore haha).
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&the pages keep turning.
Saturday 7 February 2015
@00:57
I need to stop thinking of giving up.
I need to believe, I need to have faith.
If not, the things I imagined to be will start to become real.
Can someone give me the courage to carry on?
&the pages keep turning.
Monday 2 February 2015
@13:14
I wish there was always a right answer.
Maybe I'm just in love with an idea.
&the pages keep turning.
