I'm pretty open to learning more about Buddhism, Taoism and Christianity actually. But I'm afraid of commitment. For example, attending church every Sunday. I'm also afraid to believe in one thing, like subscribing to one religion. I know believers of whatever religion might not call their religion a religion, but a relationship with entity/entities, just like how we have relationships with our family and friends.

I enjoy learning about each religion's teachings. On respect, on kindness, on relationships, on how to be a better person etc. I think that a lot of these lessons learnt can be applied to real life to make real changes, to allow me to reflect upon myself and my behaviours.

But yea. I am afraid of commitment, I'm afraid to subscribe to one thing. And that's why, till now I consider myself to be somewhat a free thinker, closer to a theist.

So today one of the kakak from my church messaged me. I used to play violin for performances and services when I was going to church more often previously. So she asked how I am doing, and if I'm still going to the church etc. And I honestly told her I haven't been going to church. And I had the impression that she would think that 'oh this girl doesn't go to church so maybe we shouldn't ask her to play for our service anymore.' But instead, she kindly asked me how come I haven't been going and actually invited me to play for the indo service and even recommended me to go to the English service in the morning since I don't understand indo very well. She didn't force me to go church or anything but just said that if I'm going to the English service, she would introduce some youths in the youth service to me.

I'm thankful that there wasn't any pressure or anything.

I went to GPO (my church) for about two years I think. And my church mates were really friendly and I liked their company too. But new youths came to join the youth service, like there was an influx of new youths (they grew up and moved from Sunday school to youth service) and I suddenly felt like there was a huge barrier between the new peeps and me. And ever since then, I didn't feel that youth service was a familiar place to be in anymore. And I slowly stopped going to church too..

Maybe it's just me for not being friendly enough. I don't know.

&the pages keep turning.

Oh I just realised that putting 'Private' on my videos prevents people from watching anything. I just changed my video options to 'Unlisted,' so now you can watch the video!

There's quite a few videos in my recent posts.

Sorry that I didn't know this earlier. I always thought that 'Private' meant that as long as the person has the link (aka watching the videos on this blog), they can watch it. Turns out that that's the role of putting 'Unlisted' to the videos.

Oops.

And, don't forget to watch the videos on wifi ;)

My data bao-ed again this month. AGAIN T.T

&the pages keep turning.

Finally, I get to practise violin on a weekday.
My sis sleeps later on Fridays. On Sundays to Thursdays, she goes to bed at around 8.30pm, so it'll be bad for me to play and disturb her. Or even disturb xiaogu (when she's at home). I know I know, they all sound like excuses. Anyway, yep, I managed to practise a little today :)

I'm introducing to you my exam piece:

Melodie No.3 from Souvenir d'un lieu cher, Op.42 - P. I. Tchaikovsky

&the pages keep turning.

Hello!
Work this week has been good! Because my boss is not around. Haha. Not really really because she is not around, but rather, because she's not around, I have more opportunity to take charge of one of the kid's therapy session, without supervision. I'm very thankful for the opportunity. It helped me gained confidence about myself.

I felt really down last week, I had lots of doubt about work, my capabilities, friends and relationships. So I'm really glad that I had this week to pick myself up.

Why I'm down about work is because I feel like I'm the last resort when it comes to taking the girl for therapy session. There's the other therapist and a part timer at our centre and they're experienced therapists. I have been learning/observing for the past 3 months already and I do feel confident about my capabilities when it comes to therapy actually. But there will be occasions when I receive feedback that maybe I can try this try that and their comments made me have the fear that they might be thinking this about me, "Oh my gosh, I tell her so many times already how come she's not learning?"

I've been there for 3 months, have I really learnt too slowly?

As I said, I was actually confident about my abilities when it comes to therapy, but when I receive feedback, it always made me feel like I made a grave mistake and I just feel that what I've been doing is wrong. I don't know.

Anyway, I met Emm on Saturday. I was really happy to meet her. I shared with her my doubts and she said, "Aiya, you and your lack of confidence again." I know.. What should I do?

Meeting her was fun! I went over to her house to sing songs and play guitar with her! We recorded Say Something :) Our harmony is really not bad! Haha. Emm uploaded a part of the video on Insta and a friend commented with "Awesome" and it really made my day too :)

At night, I met the primary school peeps for mookata! Finally, all 7 of us 都来了! Haha it's really difficult to gather all of us huh! Meeting them has always always been fun! After Mookata, we went 7-11 to buy ice cream and headed towards a void deck. Then we played the guitar and sang songs together!! ^^


Such a happy day for me because I really love jamming! Takes a lot of my worries away too :)

On Sunday, I hung out with Nini! He's back from his Vietnam trip finally!
We visited the Thieves' Market, some toy museum on Baghdad/Arab St (costs only 2 bucks!) and the Malay Heritage museum! And then we headed to ECP againz. Love ECP so much :) Hope to go there more often!

Anyway, in the previous week, during the National Day holidays, I didn't go out that much!

On Friday, I met Xin Yu to play violin and duet with her! It was fun :) And on Saturday and Sunday I didn't really go anywhere with anyone. And on Monday, I met Wenz in the late morning to go visit the Sands of Time at Siloso Beach!


And then we went around some booths to get free glitter tattoo, spray tattoo, beads on our hair, chalk on Wen Yi's hair etc etc. Haha it was so much fun! And then guess what! We queued for the cable car! LOL we queued for an hour before we could get on one. Hahahaha. Don't know if it was worth the wait but glad that we managed to take the cable car :)






After that, we went for Hak'13 picnic! It was nice meeting everyone after such a long time :) Picnic was fun. We had so much food. Hahaha I prepared egg sandwich too. I didn't think it was very nice but my friends were all so supportive *bows down to thank them* and they cleared all the sandwiches! We played games like Cheat and Happy Family too. Haha. That pretty much concluded my national day holiday!




Okay ciaos for now~

&the pages keep turning.

I didn't go out with anyone in the past week :)
I had a good rest too! Go home straight away after work and just chill~ Haha. Work has been okay! I've had quite about two opportunities to do therapy for one of the kids, unsupervised. And I'm thankful for that opportunity. I've got so much more to learn to handle her better! I think I'm too lax with her. HAHA.

My work at Lazarus made me realise what we could have done for my sister. We could have sent her for therapy - speech therapy, occupational therapy etc. My sister goes to special needs school. But school is school. Schooling is not enough to improve her skills. Therapy is definitely needed. But I didn't know that. I used to think that school provides one-to-one services such as therapy. I was wrong about this though. I think it might be all too late... I wish I knew better. Or I wish that my parents could have known or bothered to find out more. Sighpie.

But well, at least my sister is well and healthy now! She's attending school, making friends, she does her colouring very nicely, she reacts in a social manner etc. So I guess it's not too bad.

Oh yes. Recently I just went to re-read this little notebook that Joshua gave to me for Christmas/Angel-Mortal revelation during Hak'14. I can say it's really the best gift I have ever received. He wrote his everyday (well, almost everyday) thoughts about whatever happened during the Laos trip. And he diligently wrote them for about 10 days. I felt really touched reading what he wrote. It's really an irreplaceable gift to me.

It's not just any notebook, well yea it's cheap, but it's a notebook filled with much sincerity, sentiments, thoughts, feelings, warmth, angst, lament etc. I can't help but feel so heartwarmed reading what he wrote!

Thank you for such a lovely gift!

ANYWAY. HAPPY JUBILEE WEEKEND!!
I love Singapore! ♥♥♥

&the pages keep turning.

Whooop~ I spent some time at ECP with Nini yesterday! :)

I really love the beach so much. I love the breeze, I love the sounds of the gushing sea water, I love the peaceful and somewhat quiet environment!

The plan was to cycle from ECP to MBS but timings got kinda screwed up because the first bike rental shop that we went to did not provide 4 hour bike rental service and the second one that we tried to go to, was closed.......... wow on a Saturday. And to walk to the next bike rental shop would be too far. So yep, we just stayed at where we were, walking by the beach, playing with the seawater and sand.


I love simple days/things like these :)

But I think Nini was really keen on cycling and he had already somewhat planned out the routes, calculated distances etc from ECP to MBS and maybe he felt disappointed that we couldn't cycle and that I seemed to be more keen on lazing at ECP. I'm sorry :(

It's just that with the lack of time at the back of my head, I really felt like I couldn't enjoy fully.

Anyway, Nini just left for Vietnam this morning! Sent him off at the airport early this morning. Hope he'll have a safe and good trip!

&the pages keep turning.

Let me write posts according to dates! :)
It's gonna be an ultra long one! Brace yourself!

12 Jul
I went to the Maker Fair with Ni Yi! It was an interesting event because I get to see how people can be so innovative with the things they make. But really, techy stuff.. Arduino? Raspberry Pi? LOL I think they're too much for me to understand... There were students as young as primary school students who set up booths to showcase what they made. Very cool to see such young innovators! And I remembered seeing this booth run by a family of 4. HAHA cute right! That the whole family is interested and involved in making!

It was definitely an eye opening experience for me!

15 Jul
I had THAI BOAT NOODLES (finally) with Ni Yi! The food was not bad la! :) I'll probably go back there again in the future! To try their Tom Yum boat noodles. HEHE. But I really missed the one we had in BKK at the floating market. That one was super delicious and flavourful! I wanna go back to bkk..! Year end! Year end! ^^

17 Jul
Yay! Public holiday. I appreciate public holiday so so so much now that I'm working. Haha. Every public holiday means an extra rest day. And possibly can go overseas also! Like to somewhere nearby or wherever. Anyway, I met Jasper in the morning and he taught me the whole syllabus for music theory already :) I really got to thank him for willing to teach me for free! I definitely owe him a meal and much gratitude.

Then I met Jorene and JQ for lunchie! Haha they tried to give me a surprise cake but they were so obvious with their secretive talking. But they're really sweet la! Had a nice chat with them too. It's been a long time since I last met up with Jorene. I did see JQ previously because we just had a dinner together!

And to my first crush of all time, thank you for sharing things with me on your own accord. I honestly didn't expect you to confide in me. It made me feel like "hey, we can actually talk about deeper stuff!" Haha it might not mean much to you to tell me about your thoughts and other things, but for me, as a friend, it really means a lot to me. I found out that we something in common too, like wanting to marry early. HAHA! Here's wishing you all the best. Quickly go find gf please! :3

Oh, on this day is also Ni Yi and me - our - second year together! Woohoo! But circumstances made it such that we couldn't spend the day together because blood is thicker than water. Well, we still managed to meet at night just to walk around a bit.

18-20 Jul
Whoopie~ Ni Yi and I went Malacca! 3D2N trip :) Basically go there just walk, eat, shop, sleep. cycle, visit many museums and malls, watch movie, play arcade, swim at infinity pool and eat more. Oh I took a day off on 20 Jul (Monday) since we couldn't go there on the 17th!



It was a fun but tiring trip! :)

21 Jul
I met up with Wenz! Hehe she treated to me to dinner at a Thai Boat Noodles store! She ordered the Phad Thai and it was really yummy! I tried Ba Mee there and it was not bad too! And we shared 2 small bowls of Thai boat noodles~ I'll probably go back again to eat next time too. As usual, Wenz is always my favourite! ♥♥♥



23 Jul
I had a simple day! I was working in the day and then had a simple dinner with Ni Yi after work :) We went to have ramen and then we bought 2 slices of cakes! Haha I requested for cake because it's birthday ma~ And 2 slices because we were supposed to celebrate our 2nd anniversary in Malacca but we were really too full from all the eating when we were there, so no cake.


I like celebrating my birthday! Don't need big (or small) party but I really just like chilling out with friends and eat cake. Hahahaha. I like it when my friends wish me too. It means so much to me to have people remembering about me. All the well wishes that my friends gave me, I've received them well. I feel blessed :)

I have a mum who doesn't remember my birthday and has never wished me ever since I came to Singapore. Lol. Uhm, but I think my dad remembers. Idk. So I'm grateful to have friends who remembers me, remembers my birthday! I'm super thankful to be born! ^^

24 Jul
Guess what! I met up with a TK Choir friend whom I didn't meet since I graduated from TK! And guess what! She's doing her dip in Piano now. Wow. How time flies, really. On my birthday, she came to wish me and asked if I was still learning violin and I said yes. Then she suggested that we could go over to her house to duet! And I just said YES! Hahahaha. It was super impromptu and last minute meet up. I used to be close to her back then but just didn't talk much when we graduated etc... But I'm glad that we could still talk like last time and we have something in common - music :) It was nice! I'm gonna meet her next week again! Haha! Fate really works in mysterious ways.

25 Jul
I went to Ni Yi's house to spend my afternoon there, doing theory while he does his work. And at night, we went to catch Tzu Hsiang's performance at VoidFest! I'm not really close to her, but just wanted to show some support to what she's been doing! There were lots of other local musicians who performed too! The songs that most of them played/sang were less mainstream I think? Jude Young, Ferry X Cherie and Gareth Fernandez were especially good! :D



When I heard Ferry X Cherie sing, they reminded me of the Bad Blood Cover by Kina Grannis and Clara C. Go listen to this cover! It's damn awesome. Hahaha I keep playing it on repeat recently xD Because the harmonising is so........ Omg.

Before going to watch the performance, we went to eat at Wang Zai Express! HAHA I bought coupons from gmarket! Super cheap! $4.90 for rice + drink + egg tarts! Super lucky that I bought it during some kind of time sales. Because after the sale was over, they changed the price to $9.90! Yummmmz anyway!

27 and 29 Jul
Met up with Psy peeps and Hak'14 peeps on respective dates! It was nice catching up with everyone. And you know what, there was 18 of us there at the dinner!! OMG. Hahahaha really happy that so many people could make it! I was surprised by the number xD

I'm very thankful to have friends who came to talk to me to ask me how I'm doing this holiday and all :)

&the pages keep turning.