You know, I can be quite a masochistic person.
I actually like injections and blood test. I think they're cool :P

But today, it was the most disgusting blood test I've ever taken >< The nurse pricked my index finger and tried to squeeze out every drop of my blood :O AHHH. It was painful.

Whiny girl here.

I preferred the procedure where they use a syringe to draw out the blood :(

And the two injections on each of my arm is making me unable to lift my arm up. Reminds of my P6 injection. Sigh.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, it's week 11 now.
This semester flew by really quickly :/ I felt like I haven't done anything productive/meaningful this semester. I was talking to Wenz awhile ago while she was here with me at the Dean's Office and I realised that I haven't been involving myself in much of the stuff in Angsana in the last 1 month or so. At the same time, I don't really wish to be involved because I appreciate the freedom that I have to choose between what I "want" to do or "need" to do, whereas in the past, it was always the "needs." I like the free time I have now. And I like spending time with friends and Ni Yi or even just indulging in random activities like listening to music, watching youtube etc during my free time.

AKA I just like to chillax. Haha.

I don't know, maybe next Semester I will try to be more involved. For this semester, I'm always using I&E as an excuse to reject commitments because I&E is really a huge commitment in terms of workload for me (cuz I'm bad with writing and analysing stuff, so I need to spend a lot more time on the simple writing that people can easily do. Oh whale.)


My favourite phrase is "Whale, whale, whale" by the way. It always cracks me up. Haha! #random

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Recently I've got to know some stuff about our neighbourhood and it made me quite upset. I guess I'm so used to how we didn't have cliques on the level previously, we'd jio each other for breakfast and dinner every single day and there will always be responses from someone from the level. But now, the level chat is not that active anymore, whenever someone jios for a meal, there's either no respond or only seniors respond.

But when you're downstairs looking for someone to eat with, there will always be a bunch of juniors downstairs.

Blame in on the senior-junior divide? Blame it on Whatsapp for its ability to worsen the divide? I didn't think the divide was apparent until I know about the junior's Whatsapp chat. The seniors never had a chat on their own. When I knew about the junior's own chat, I then understood why our level chat is mostly as quiet as grave, because they already have their own friends there, they don't feel as close to the seniors. And I'm quite sure some of the seniors don't feel that close to the juniors too and wants to be try to be as comfortable as possible by occasionally hanging out with the other seniors, but I think a lot of the seniors genuinely want to bond with the juniors. And hence the multiple attempts to jio in the chat in the past.

I miss those time we'd knock on each other's doors to jio each other to eat together.

Even as I mention seniors and juniors like that, I'm arbitrarily making the divide more explicit. I'm not trying to worsen the issue here but I'm using seniors and juniors as an easy category for those who are old and new to the college.

I know it's normal to have this divide, but I just can't accept the fact that there is because I was so used to the homogeneity we had last year as a level (excluding phantoms).

I wonder who caused this divide.

"I am role modeling. What do I role model?"

Ying Ting went through this quote with SFers during the last SF session we had last week. It's to teach us on self-awareness. The actions of others is actually a reflection of what you're showing. Let's say you're the facilitator of the workshop and you kept folding your arms, at the end of the session, you would actually see your participants folding their arms too. It's like how yawning is contagious. It's an unconscious thing that you don't realise. So if you're negative to someone, the chances are you'll be treated negatively as well. Hence, self-awareness is important to regulate your actions.

Why did I mention this?

It's because I wonder if at the beginning the seniors had made a mistake by sticking to each other (but we weren't conscious of it) instead of trying to bond with the juniors? And hence juniors are reacting in the way they are now, by forming their own juniors chat and being comfortable among themselves. I don't know. We could be much at fault.

But overall, I can see the house more bonded than last year. Last year it was another kind of divide. Level 17, Hulk OG and the others. Haha. Perhaps, we need to make a sacrifice (the level bonding) for something greater (neighbourhood bonding). Hmm.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday 19 October 2013! Woohooo! Went for USS Halloween. Wow the queue was crazy. We queued for 2 of the haunted houses for about an hour :O But I had fun that night and I'm really glad that Ni Yi managed to convince his green house peeps to go for Halloween together! I wanted to go for USS Halloween so badly and I was sad that no one on level 17 was particularly interested in going for this (but anyway, in the end I heard that some of the neighbourhood peeps are going next weekend. Hope they enjoy themselves!)

The atmosphere at USS was awesome! Decorations and make up were elaborate and cool! :D



And I'm glad that because of Ni Yi I made a lot of awesome bunch of people from the green house :)

&the pages keep turning.

There were many food for thoughts from yesterday's Comm Leadership class.

&the pages keep turning.

I'd do anything to be in your place.

I wanna study overseas. I love Singapore, but I still wanna be thrown out in a foreign country alone to learn how to be more independent and be out of my comfort zone. I hate being out of my comfort zone, but I think it's something that I must push myself to do.

Anyway, mid terms ended not long ago and we also had a quiz for stats a few weeks back and it's the first time in my 1 year plus in uni that I obtained above average results. That quiz was such a morale booster for me. But even with this morale booster, it didn't really help and ended up, my other mid terms weren't too good either.

My brain has probably been dead for a few years since J1, maybe that's why it's hard to activate it again. Lol.

IEM is kinda problematic for me too because I can't think that well. I can't write that well. Haha and the problem I have now is, I don't know how to complicate my idea. This sounds weird like we're always asked to simplify our idea, but for me, I have problems making it complicated.

Anyway, today, I met up with some IAF peeps at PlayNation! Haven't met them in a really long time. I miss those times we played music together!! (And it made me miss my time in Chamber Ensem in JC as well :')) I'm not really close to them but it was a lot of fun playing music together. I should have joined NUSSO man!


Haha still having a teeny weeny bit (1%) of post-production withdrawal symptom.

&the pages keep turning.