Today we had the first interview for Hak'14! :)
This is the first time I'm interviewing people. Omg it's quite a new experience for me and I think it's really interesting to hear about what people has got to say regarding themselves and the project. Looking forward to meeting all the other applicants! ^^ Hope more people sign up!! :D

Anyway I remember telling my group project mates that I'm quite free. But I just realised, I'm not (however, I do know that I'm not the busiest bee around). Because this coming weekend, I needa attend a leadership workshop so my weekend is basically burnt. I have two assignments and two projects/presentations which are due next week. Oh noes. You know I don't really work well under stress D: I feel ultra stressed when I feel that my life is out of my control. And sometimes when I'm stressed out, I forget how to get a grip of myself and control my life.

So I'm gonna keep telling myself that everything is under control and I shouldn't be stressed about it. I have to keep my mood high and I'll try not to think that I'm going crazy etc.

Hope that I will constantly remind myself of this:

"Everything is under my control and it'll be okay."

Have a great week (full of assignments, reports and projects) ahead~!


Peace out!

&the pages keep turning.

:)

&the pages keep turning.

I'm supposed to sleep already. But I just wanna blog. So here I am instead of zzz-ing..! Haha.

Yayness that the week ended. The crazy week ended.

Open Day was pretty chillax for me because my role was just to sing and I didn't sign up for other things. For the rest of the time, I was either at the Jam City booth or roaming around. Hehe. Anyway, it's my first time performing in public and I'm really thankful for the opportunity given to me to sing!

The videos are uploaded on FB already. Omg I thought I sung okay yesterday leh but when I watched the videos, it was not as nice as I expected D: Omgzxadfzx don't know how my friends can say nice :( Must be giving me face..

Anyway, through this little experience, I made new friends too! It was fun jamming with our band members! Although practices were really long, I enjoyed every moment of it :) Cuz I love singing I guess!


Spent yesterday night at home helping a bit with Hak stuff. And yay, application for Hak'14 is open now! And the website looks really nice thanks to SY! Go visit it at: http://projecthaknus.wix.com/projecthaknus#!hak-14/c1hsd Really excited for the recruitment! I hope there'll be people interested. Haha I'm excited to interview people too :P

Came back to CAPT (cuz I didn't really have the mood to do work at home) in the mid-afternoon and I thought I would do work. Haha I ended up slacking till 6 plus before I started on my assignment and presentation stuffs. Sigh sigh. But anyway, all's done! Yay!

Whee~ It's the start of a new week! Kinda have quite a bit of things to catch up with and perhaps I should start working on my next two assignments already. Should stop procrastinating so much!

&the pages keep turning.

I kinda want this week to quickly end.
I'm so glad the SSU assignment deadline got postponed to next Monday, if not my today is really gonna be an ultra long day.
I'm feeling really tired this week.. Having lessons/activities plus studying for mid terms, from morning all the way to late at night like 2am. Without proper breaks. I just keep moving.

I enjoy jam city practices a lot because I love singing. And I also don't feel tired at all during those practices (or more like I feel like some crazy dudette who zi hai herself). But practicing for 4-5 hours almost every other night is taking a toll on me. Because the next day, my day starts early and is usually long.

I know of people who likes to keep themselves busy. But I definitely am not the workaholic type. I like to have the freedom of choice to do what I want, I like my free time with nothing important to do, I like the times when I can just nua in my room. But for the past three weeks, I didn't have such a choice.

Knowing my mid term results for two modules didn't help as well. Did super badly for Psy and my CS marks was way below my expectations.. So I feel really quite disappointed with myself. I'm not exactly sad. But I am utterly disappointed. In the afternoon when I saw my results, I felt like I just shouldn't be sad. Because I was going to go out to celebrate a friend's birthday and then have dinner with Nic and SY. So I shouldn't be letting results affect my mood when I'm gonna spend time with others..

Anyway, maybe I should just stop thinking that I'm tired. Because our cognition affects our mood, and vice versa.

I can do this! It's just 3 more days till the end of this week! :)

&the pages keep turning.

Cramps at the wrong time.. Really.
I was gonna get into the mood of studying for PL3251 today but the cramps made all my motivation crash down to almost nothing. I just wanna lay in bed and not move at all.

Sigh and this cute little boi of mine tried to cheer me up with my favourite whale whale whale. Hahahah I can only smile.

&the pages keep turning.

It's 7.23pm :) What a beautiful time.

I'm really no good with handling multiple things at one time. But, that's what uni is all about. I feel pretty stressed up the past two weeks, with many project meetings, long hours of jam city practices, many mid terms to study for and a need to have some kind of life. Which is what almost every student goes through, and for some, struggle with. Just like me.

I'm really no good with stress. But Yuan Ting once told me, "You choose to be stress." This line keeps ringing in my head. I agree with her because it's all in our mind. We can choose to take control of our life and not be stressed. I do believe that once I know that everything is under control, I wouldn't be bothered by stress, or feel stressed at all. But the problem that I have is that I'm not sure how to do that.

I think I'm pretty whiny the past two weeks. Whining over the number of mid terms I have to study for, whining about how much I lack motivation, whining about how I lack of sleep, whining about how I feel tired, whining about how I don't know how to do CS questions, whining about the weather, whining about how Joel wasn't listening to me, whining about my missing toothpaste, whining about how I can't sleep properly at night because I got bitten by lots of mosquitoes, whining about how I'm having a bad morning. Basically whining about everything.

I feel kinda annoyed with myself for whining so much.

But the people around me are always putting up with me, listening to me, giving me little treats, secretly showing me much love.

Especially Ni Yi, who's my constant pillar of support. Always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, a tight hug, a light kiss, a big smile and a listening ear to make everything feel better.

Two days ago I experienced this big drama during my CS Sit-in lab. I was really sian and frustrated after the incident because I felt that I was retarded for what I did. So I was kinda sulky the whole time after class and during dinner.

Had dinner together with Wen Yi, Sherman and Joel. And after that dinner I felt worse than ever... Initially, Joel was curious about what happened in class and so I explained the story briefly. And as we talked, then he probed further and then suddenly, as I was about to explain and was at my peak of my frustration, he stopped me and say, "Wait, why do I need to know all these? It doesn't even affect me." I was just so shocked and I stopped. And he continued, "but, I thank you for your patience with me, to try explaining things to me." He then continued with thanking me for my patience over and over again. Wen Yi then said, "But you're not showing her patience if you're not listening to her."

Her, as in referring to me. And at that time I was on the verge of tears. I was at my peak of my frustration but I wasn't allowed to speak, he didn't want to listen to me and he didn't even want to sympathise. I was really upset.

Quite fortunately, we already finished eating and hence I quickly stood up after keeping my stuff, put the plates and cutlery back and went to Ni Yi's room and cried so so so much.

I'm really such a cry baby...

I guess it's my way of venting my frustrations... But I feel really sorry that Ni Yi had to be the one to see me cry and deal with me. Cried and cried for 5-10 minutes before I could speak properly and explaining to him what happened. All these while, he just hugged me, wiped my tears and said nothing but his presence made me feel so comforted.

But I think after this incident, I think I know who's not my true friend. And he will be the second person in the universe who can make me dislike a person so much. I can only be sorry that I'm rather petty.

I don't feel like I deserve to be treated the way I do because I am never like this to anyone. But I don't know if I'm too naive. I remembered Weiliang saying that "Not everything is reciprocal." And I think I just can't accept that fact maybe...

Sigh I really don't know what to say. I don't know when will be the next time I can talk to Joel. Because currently, I really can't. When I meet him, all I feel is disappointment and I just don't want to talk to him, at all. Hope that God can give me forgiveness...

On the side note, SY is really very nice. She randomly gives things, handmade ones or other items, to her friends. And I'm always on the receiving end of her love. Yesterday she passed to me her Starbucks card to allow me to get a little treat from Starbucks :') Also, Abi is such an angel. She always drops notes or give me things secretly without ever leaving her name. Today I lost my toothpaste and she bought me a new one :O (after I whined in the level chat to request for the person whoever who took it to return it to me :/)

I wanna stay positive for these people who shows me so much love. I should really stop being whiny...

8.01pm now. Time to go for jam city prac! (and I'm late :x)

&the pages keep turning.