Personality is composed of two fundamentally different types of traits: those of ‘character;’ and those of ‘temperament.’ Your character traits stem from your experiences. Your childhood games; your family’s interests and values; how people in your community express love and hate; what relatives and friends regard as courteous or perilous; how those around you worship; what they sing; when they laugh; how they make a living and relax: innumerable cultural forces build your unique set of character traits. The balance of your personality is your temperament, all the biologically based tendencies that contribute to your consistent patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving. As Spanish philosopher, Jose Ortega y Gasset, put it, ‘I am, plus my circumstances.’ Temperament is the ‘I am,’ the foundation of who you are.

&the pages keep turning.

How do one cultivate resilience?

But now I honestly just want to run away. Run far far far far far far far away from this stupid house. My uncle and auntie always told me I just need to tolerate for a few more years. And not try to escape from it, but face it head on. Afterall, we can't really change someone's personality, but we can only learn to manage people. #goodadvice I know that if I escape, like asking my parents if I can apply for hostel, I definitely won't be able to cultivate resilience. But I really don't know how I can survive this crap..

Resilience, patience, peace.

Wish I could be somewhere else every single day.

Anyway, I finally got back my laptop after 3 weeks! 3-5 days became 3 weeks. Idk how it happened. But oh well. I'm really thankful to my uncle who loaned me his spare laptop for school work and stuffs. My uncle auntie are always there to rescue me from any situations, give me advice, take care of me etc. Like parents! Only after separating from them then I realise how much I should have treasured them... #lifelesson

Past two weeks of school have been okay. SY, Nic and I conducted over 30 interviews! :O Quite a crazy 2 weeks. Stayed in school almost every day till 10.30 or so, reach home at 12 plus cuz none of us stay in hostels! Haha. And me being the sleepy head needed a lot of sleep. Kinda sleep deprived now. And my bad habit starts to come back again, which is blinking my eyes a lot. Like really a lot. When I lack of sleep I tend to blink my eyes way too much. I haven't been this sleepy in the longest time actually. Last time when I had lack of sleep, I don't remember being this sleepy. But for the past 2 weeks it's been quite bad cuz I haven't been sleeping well at night. On top of sleeping less than how much I did in the holidays, I've been having too much thoughts in my head and it made me toss and turn a lot, making me unable to sleep properly.

I'm not exactly worrying, maybe just a little, but thinking of Hak 14, thinking about my incompetency at times, thinking about uncertainty, pondering about what to I can do/be in the future, pondering about what people said in the day, pondering about resolving some internal conflicts that I have. My head's kinda in a huge mess.

My mood has been quite bad recently. Angst Vivi. Highly irritable. But I know that I shouldn't take it out on others. Recently I think I just did to Joshua, not sure if he realised, but I realised it myself because the things I said was nasty. (Sorry dude, I feel really bad thinking about it) I think very few people has seen me get angry or irritated at full blown.

Hope I get more sleep and may my mood be better soon :)

&the pages keep turning.